Bata, it's okay!

After last weekend, I had decided to stay home for a much needed rest, bodily and purse. After work last friday noon, I went to the library and did some writing. I was so thrilled when I got an email from my school....Yes! that's right, at 50 years of age, I am taking a course!..and I am down to my last assignment after which I will be given a certificate of completion on Children's Literature. I have decided to write literature specifically for filipino children since I think there is a need to get rid of all those foreign books and come up with our very own.

My desire stemmed from the past experience as a child and having too many foreign books. First of all, who ever heard of having sleigh and snow in our country. But growing up, we did have those stories of children in thick clothes, riding on sleigh and having snow flakes for decorations. Or that making a snowman with carrot nose, a pipe and button eyes completed the christmas spirit. Much more we were singing "white christmas", which really doesn't relate to our seasons.

Next, whoever saw a big fat old man in red suit and a loud voice giving away gifts. Worst of all, we didn't have chimneys where this fat guy they called Santa, could slide through. What's a chimney? How will Santa deliver my gift without a chimney in our house?

And my first book in Grade One said, "Look, Dick, Look. See Jane run. See Jane run and play." Who is Dick?--Ricardo is much better sounding.

Moreover, our parents concocted stories when our curious minds needed answers. Remember the proverbial, "why mommy?" statement of a toddler? Why do we have to eat, mommy? Why do we sleep and not play the whole day? Why are we brown and Mr. Smith is ghost colored? Why, mommy, why? Parents sometimes will give absurd answers, but then it will ultimately lead to an existence of a spiritual being--because God made it that way, because God said so, because that's how God works. And thus, our belief system was established. Be good or God will get angry, Eat your food or magagalit ang Diyos. Brown ka kasi exacto ka lang linabas sa oven ni Lord. Yung mga puti, hilaw, tapos yung mas ma itim/negro, nasunog sa oven ni God.

Although some answers are absurd yet maybe logical, still more often than not, is far from reality. Limiting a child's understanding of a situation hinders him from gaining a better perspective of what is in the real world. We have to respect our own children, if we need them to respect us in return. And by responding truthfully with the right perspective makes you more respectful in the eyes of a child. And being sensitive and attentive to the needs of a child is the best way to do it.

A friend of mine here in America was chatting with her niece. In the middle of their conversation, the niece's toddler interrupted because she was upset that her little dolly could not be found. Instead of brushing the child away and telling her to play with something else, the niece excused herself to attend to her toddler. My friend was flabergasted because her niece gave more attention to the little child than to her. She fumed within her that if this child was in the Philippines, she would be brushed aside to the care of the maids. As an elder, she should be given more attention than the child.

One of the issues that filipino children encounter and which parents often overlook is the need to be honest with emotions. As a people, we are patient and forgiving. The core of People Power is the quintessence of such contained emotions that needed an outburst.

Growing up in a filipino household, anger and loud outbursts were signs of disrespect. Or that whining and hitting were grounds for punishment. We needed to control whatever emotions we had, because anything which is not contained, is a sign of weakness. No wonder, children channeled their outbursts either by being violent, overeating or had used some other ways as coping mechanisms.

That is why, I wonder if our society is the way it is because of how we were raised. I asked my auntie if the phrase, "children are seen not heard' was a norm in our family. She exclaimed that as kids, we were allowed to speak whatever we wanted to, however, we were not allowed to question the elders. I thought about what she said, although there was a form of liberalism, the issue remained the same.

This keeping quiet while elders talk has brought repercussions to the baby boomers. Cousin Luis confirmed just that. In one of his office parties in Manhattan, they were playing Trivial Pursuit, wherein there were 2 groups formed. An all Filipino was considered one group, while the other group consisted of all whites. Guess who won by a HUGE lead! Of course THE FILIPINO TEAM. After the game, Luis' American boss was surprised how the Filipinos knew so much information. The boss said, "I didn't know you knew so much since most of you are so quiet at work. I even thought most of you were dumb because you spoke so little." Either the Filipinos were afraid to make mistakes as part of growing up, or that was how filipino children were reared---seen, not heard.

Books are important tools in giving information. . It is informative, entertaining and even educational. It can even console a hurting child, when physical comfort is absent. It is through writing that I want to deal with the questions of every filipino child. I would want to tell him so many things like :

"it's okay!" that papa/mama is abroad. They still love you even if they're far away.
"It's okay!" to feel angry, and tell him how without hurting others as well
"it's okay!" if you have much less than what your classmate has
"it's okay if you're color is brown," and explain about melanin cells
"it's okay!" to be disappointed, because we all feel that way.
"it's okay!" to be afraid, but it's because we don't know any better........"IT's OKAY!"

Writing for children is a means to reach inquiring minds and be creative in the explanation without suppressing truth. Who knows?! While reading a book, even a child's own caregiver can learn, if he doesn't already know it. I want to be part of a Filipino child's life, it is part of my quest as a Filipino myself . And I hope to be.....SOMEDAY