Listening Friends......

Somewhere near the wharf in Brooklyn,  the air is breezy and  I am lying down on a piece of cement slab under a tree that shades me from the warm afternoon sun.  I let my thoughts carry me where it wants me to go and as I look  up at the swaying leaves I am reminded of Buddha that saw enlightenment under a Bodhi tree.  But I don't want to talk about the four noble truths or about suffering which is what the Buddhist philosophy is all about.  But it's more of the three kinds of friends I have when I am faced with a suffering of my own.

The philosophical jargon in which the suffering you experience in you is not you  confuses me just as the saying, you are not your problem.  So I try to simplify the scenario when I put myself  in the seat as a counselor listening to the problematic one with whom I may have similar issues at hand. There and then will I be able to distinguish  the conflicted one separated to the experiencing  the conflict. It is a spiritual awakening in the battlefield of  one's lives which reveal what the real crisis is at hand.

 But how do I identify the havoc playing inside of me, battling themselves with each other wanting to be heard.  For these I call my super friends, the A-VAN-GIRLS  (I conned the name since the superhero flick is popular)  Anyway,  we all have roles for each of our bff's and it is easy to call them, just like when we need doctors for particular ailments.

First friend is  who I shall call as  'pretty preachy' because she has all the answers to every query and  is judgmental to every action resulting from  karma or the sower-seed principle, which  is her primary defense.  It may be good at times, especially when we are ready to accept annihilation to our person  which will  chop us up and reveal within us our very own mistaken identity of ourselves. If we are ready for that, then she is the friend to call for.

Then there is the 'nodding nadia' friend that  just goes with the flow.  She will nod her head and confirm with whatever you say, even when she knows you are wrong.  Yet because she doesn't like to add more hurt by saying anything, she affirms your belief.  After all, everything is relative, and it is your present experience that is important.  She is the type that says, “you're not alone.”  I am with you every step of the way.  Even if you know that  your decisions can be downright silly, irresponsible and downright imbecilic, she wouldn't care,  after all it's my decision that counts not hers.

Then finally there is that 'quiet queen';  One who just listens and holds your hand.  Not saying anything, not being judgmental yet having a one sentence opinion when asked.  She is that type that let's you  be with your emotions  because she knows that every single conflict being aired out is just but a peel of 

hardened sentiments.  And as this is uncovered, soon the real issue will reveal itself, and at the end of every uncovered peel lies the true self which we often fail and that which we call inner peace.

And as I remember my friends, a tear falls from my cheeks. How empty life would be without such friends.  I once read somewhere that peace is hiding somewhere inside the folds of our inner conflicts. And if one is a facilitator of peace, then that person should listen without being judgmental.  Because not listening is a form of  subtle violence which signals an expression of outer aggression.

The act of listening with total receptivity and attention is the greatest gift we can offer anyone and ourselves:  to fully listen to another person.  After all ,  Listening is a revolutionary act of peace. Do you have such friends?

Food is the new sex

One night, as I was having an orgasm, a thought occurred to me.   Now what kind of beginning sentence is that—well it's what Clinton Palanca wrote on his essay “the Last Word”, and he did catch my attention.  I wonder what his partner was thinking at that moment too... the author was multi tasking himself, thinking of something but doing another.  He was then relating his culinary french experience to sex.

I recall a good friend of mine, who complained about his wife that in the middle of their love making the wife says, “have you paid the electric bills.”  Now that is anti-climatic, don't you think.  But then again, it's more hilarious than erotic.  But back to my thoughts.

Well, as they say, food is the new sex. Let me go on to say that in both instances with food and sex, it should not be done in haste.  Properly timed and rightly seasoned is what I could think it to be.   We've heard tons about it and the book “aphrodite' describes it so vividly.

“A well thought out dinner forms a crescendo beginning with the pianissimo of the soup, passing through the delicate arpeggios of the appetizer, culminating with the fanfare of the main course, which is followed finally, by the dulcet chords of the dessert.  The process is comparable to that of making love with style, beginning with insinuations, savoring erotic juices, reaching the climax with the usual crash of cymbals and finally sinking into pleasureful and well deserved repose.”

We've all heard about food pornography  or  such that there are words which can best describe an ingredient such as extra virgin olive oil or a menstruation red apple. And even in consumption or consummation of such,  we take for granted that  too much of a good thing doesn't lead to a desirable effect. We either become obese or a maniac.

Food like sex starts with the eyes.  A melon like butt, or a luscious pear with ripe cherry tip, or how about a sturdy shape like banana  protruding from the pants of a hunk. From the eyes it gradually works its way through its sense...but then again, how can we differentiate pornography with that of eroticism.  Porno is method without inspiration, while the latter is inspiration without method.  In Kitchenese lingo eroticism is using a feather, while pornography is using the whole hen.  Got it?

Anyway, enough writing for the day.  A good hand for making a sauce is like a good hand for giving a massage.  So here's a recipe  of a very popular Chile sauce to complement meats, fish and vegetables.  You don't want to try it if you're frightened by things spicy...but then again I dare you to...

4 chile peppers (Jalapeno for example)
¼ cup lemon juice
¼ cup vegetable oil
1 tbsp. Salt
2 tbsp. Chopped chives
2 tbsp. Chopped cilantro
2 tbsp. Chopped parsley
3 tbsp. Vinegar

Split open peppers, remove seeds and devein and minced by hand.  Let marinate for 30 minutes with lemon juice, and salt, then drain.  Add all the remaining spices and herbs and the vinegar. Store in a sealed bottle in the refrigeratot until time to serve.

And finally,  according to many,  there are 4 food groups:  pizza, coffee, chocolate and sex
And by the way, why do people smoke after eating or having sex?

•