When we think that by middle age we are done parenting, think again. Lately, I have seen many of my friends finding a new kind of happiness. That of being grandparents. I delight myself not only in watching my grandkids grow, but often times I sees myself in my own children raising their own toddlers.
A few days ago, my granddaughter Elise said, “lola, when I'm a teenager, you're going to die.”
I grasped at her comment and asked, “why do you say that Elise?”
“Well, lola, it's because you're old.” she said. That was a reality check for me. When we think that we can remain forever young, our bodies often give us away. Not only that, we used to think of our parents as antiquated, but now those same adjectives are now passed on to us in the eyes of today's younger generation.
Technology has made information more accessible to the young, and even restrictions find their way to inquiring minds which often baffles the supervising adult. Unless kids would rather google for answers, we, the today's hip replacement generation, should be better equipt in answering. After all, we have lived longer than them.
I did have an intent conversation one morning with William, a young boy of 9 years. He was relating his experiences in school about his buddies trying to act 'mature' by knowing 'big' words. From this he said, “tita, I know the F word.” and so I said to myself, 'oh no, I hope I don't mess up on giving the right info on this one... Anyway.....
I bluffed William that I didn't think he knew it, but then when he said, “Tita the F word is ---am not saying it but it's spelled F-U-C-K”. I looked at him with a poker face and asked, “do you know what that means, William”.
“yes tita, it's bad! Its what people do on dates” he answered.
If I was old school I'd probably wash his mouth with soap and water, and lambasted him with a sermon of never mentioning it again until he graduated college. But then again, children nowadays are smarter and so I put on my thinking cap and had to explain.
“William, the word comes from an old English story of long ago. When the king had to go to war, he'd bring several men to do battle with him. It took them months to be away from their families. And finally , when they would come home, the king ordered them to be with their families to make up for the lost time when the warriors would be away. So in every warrior's house, they would put a sign
F-U-C-K and no one was allowed to disturb them. Those accronyms meant
Family time
Under
Consent of the
King. And that is the story of the word. “
In reality, I had to substitute the word
F for Family Time when it really meant Fornicating. If not, then my explanation would be more complicated than I'd want it to be.
Then he again said, “Okay, how about B-b-b-b with an I and a T-C-H. That's a bad word too.”
“Not if you say it in the wrong way. Bitch means a female dog.” William's eyes grew big as if wondering why I was so complacent about saying a word that was a taboo to a third grader in an exclusive school. So I continued my lecture, “A lot of words have been used to mean bad but when really they were good words to start with. “
“Do you understand what I'm saying, William?” I asked.
“I guess so, Tita” he answered. Then he added, “why can you say butt and can't say ass, when they mean the same thing but ass is bad.”
“Well, that's because ass could mean also 'donkey' and someone probably once said you don't do anything but sit on your 'ass' . I don't know why they think it's bad. Like I said, good words can be used to mean it in a bad way. So be careful with what you say and how you want to mean it.”
“Hmmm, okay tita,” said William. And with that off he went to play.
It is amazing how this kids can be so innocent while we have become so corrupted. And of course, it is our responsibility to best explain to them as if we were children ourselves.
I am reminded of an incident where a 6 year old boy went to his grandmother and asked. “Grandma, what do you call two people sleeping together and one is on top of the other.”
Grandma shook her head and stopped to collect her senses, wondering what to say to the little boy. Then she said, “well son, it's called SEX and you only do that when you love each other and hopefully are married.”
“okay grandma,” said the boy, skipping happily away. A few moments later, the boy came back with a hard, angry face stomping towards the grandmother. Then he blurted out, “Grandma, you're lying. It's called a Double Deck and my friend's mom wants a word with you.”
And to all the grandparents out there, good luck on your grandparenting. And be sure to always be FUN (so they don't say you're going to die because you're old), FACTUAL (so they don't think you make up stories)....but best of all be CREATIVE!
