A few days ago, I posted that I have the best cousins in the world, and I really do. Because when we gather, there is never a dull moment. Let me tell you some stories!!!
One afternoon I went to a cousin’s place to have dinner with her and we chatted for quite awhile. As the night was winding down, and she was doing last minute chores of putting dishes in the dish washer, taking out food from the freezer to thaw for next day’s use and wiping out counter tops. I bid my goodbyes and hoped to see her again in the weekend.
That night, as I was about to sleep, the phone rang.
“Vanette, did you know where I put the chicken to thaw out?” my cousin asked me.
“NO, sorry” I said.
“Oh, sh*t, I can’t find it. OH well,,it will appear unless it got ressurected and went to chicken heaven.”
The next day, cousin called again, “I found my chicken this morning….…..in one of my kitchen drawers.” And we both burst out laughing.
Many months later, same cousin AGAIN called me up to share her experience of loosing a checkbook only to find it three months later-------in the freezer. This is the epitome of what we called FROZEN ASSETS.
Another cousin is so obsessed with expelling her POOP in the mornings that If she were to make her own book, there would be a chapter of “ the gospel according to ………’ and the verse would be, “it is not what comes into the mouth that is important, but what comes out the next day that will make my day a joyous one.”
One day, both of my cousins above, and I were going to San Francisco from LA to attend the Fancy Food Show. It was an 8 hour drive and it was surprising that we had NON STOP conversations…..If the car still had gas, our mouths would endlessly chatter as well. We stayed at another cousin’s house who was away on a diving trip, so we had the whole house to ourselves.
Anyway, the show exhibit was for three days and in one of those days we went around Napa Valley and toured some wineries including the famous Coppola vineyards. In another, we had wine tasting wherein each of us were given two glasses--a red and a white. The problem was (and I didn’t know at that time) both my cousins don’t drink and so they pushed their glasses of wine towards me and saying, “sigue beh, tell us what you think?”....well, for the first two drinks, I probably told them the taste and all…..but am sure at the end of the 6th glass, I was revealing my innermost secrets----oh those two!!!!! hahahah! 6 glasses is more than a bottle!!!!!!
Oh and the most hilarious experience of that trip was the last day of the fancy food show. The exhibitors were giving away many of their samples, most were chocolates, gourmet mixes and food knick knacks. There was even a guy that told us to get all we could carry from his booth. And mind you, the organizers don’t normally let attendees out with exhibitors stuff , but we did! So just imagine three middle aged ladies each carrying a garbage bag filled with all those goodies all the way to the parking lot!!!! YES PEOPLE, we amassed ourselves with tons of goodies, and got away with it!
Back at the house, we combined our loot which was a huge mound. We then selected what we wanted and the rest we repacked for the balikbayan box. That was one of the funniest experiences we had---and these was almost a decade ago.
One other cousin, who is a ‘kaskasera’, normally would take her mother to work everyday. And you can just imagine the traffic in Manila is horrible. My aunt, who is a religious person, would pray her rosary within hearing distance, while travelling. One will know how my cousin would drive because it would show on how my aunt would pray. If my cousin drove too fast, the ‘our father’s ‘ would be as fast too….and when there would be a quick shift of speed, the ‘hail mary’s’ would be just as loud. So if my aunt would be gibberish in her prayer, it is an indication of a speed race.
Which reminded me of a joke: At the gates of heaven, a priest complained to St. Peter why it took him awhile to check on the priests deeds before entering heaven, while the jeepney driver had ease in enter it, to which St Peter said, “when you preached, people fell asleep, but when the jeepney driver drove, the passengers started to pray.”
So there! my cousin will definitely go to heaven…...I can go on and on and on…. and am sure everyone has her own cousin story to tell as well…...
