Fancy Food and Me

They say, that in one's lifetime, you can have 3 career shifts. At this stage of my life, I am at my third. The first being in the Gift, Toys and Housewares Industry, where I was an exhibitor of shows and exporter, and the second was in the furniture industry. But if there's one thing that is more exciting, it is in the service and food industry which I am now presently engaged in.

Every year, the Fancy Food Show has an exhibit in California, and New York and wherever state I am , I try to attend , which I just did today. This is the only show that when you come in, you have to be hungry, because by day's end, you feel like throwing up after having consumed the whole world.

You don't have to travel far in order to taste the Halloumi cheese of Cypres, the Jamon Serano of Spain, the gourmet cheeses of France and the prosciuto/pancetta of Italy. Truffle chocolates, peregina Baci, gourmet jelly beans, wine sticks which is actually wine jelly wrapped in chocolate (yummm) and other kinds of taffies and organic candies are all for the taking.

Although this year, I have lost sight of some regulars, new exhibitors have emerged. New packaging and service molds such as platters, individual servings for the caterers are being introduced to the high end market. Innovations and finds have also been presented.

If you think water is ordinary, think again. There are booths catering to different flavors and still retain that transparent water color. The ginger lemongrass is my favorite, against all those pomegranate, manggo, and different kinds of berries.

Olive, which is very visible in many European countries, has made its mark in many an exhibitors booth, either as brined, in olive oil or processed such as tapanade.
Cheese is another favorite ranging for the gourmet kraft to the 'cave aged' which is literally cured inside a cave. Truffles, foie gras and caviar which is the trinity of luxury dining is also part of the exhibit. They are all for display only ;except for truffle oil which I have generously indulged myself wherever booth I find, dipping small portions of bread and tasting its buttery strength.

What impressed me most in this years exhibit, as against last year, was the presence of many Asian counterparts. Aside from China and Japan who are regulars, The Thais are very strong with their processed fruits, from mangosteen, pineapples, longans and even their own rice. Some selling plain dried fruits, others processed gourmet. The Indians will not be outdone with their curries and basmati rice plus some processed spices. The Koreans had kimchi, and were giving out recipes that contained fusion inspiration like Kimchi quesedilla and tuna sashimi kimchi. Even the vietnamese had pho noodles similar to our mami instant noodles. If there is one country that impressed me, it was the Indonesian booth, which was a family owned business but had lots of promise. And Sri Lanka had tasty teas, while the little city of Singapore had its presentation of gourmet foods.

Most of the Asian countries are supported by their own governments, as explained by some of the exhibitors. These were countries that helped their farmers market their produce, of which only a minimal handling fee is taken for facilitation of shipment and communication. All profit goes to the farmer.

After the last leg of my walk around the whole show, stomach full and light headed from the sampling of wines, I felt depressed at not seeing a single Filipino exhbitor, much less even just a product. Deep inside me I felt so pissed off at our own government in not making its presence in these kinds of shows.

We have been sprouting culinary schools all over the Philippines, yet not one has ventured into gourmet food export. The fancy food show by its name caters to a special kind of clientelle and I am very sure, the Filipino can fill a spot anyway.

Here are some suggestions:

1) Did you know that a piece of balimbing the fruit sells at an organic store for at least 2 dollars a piece? Yes....it's that expensive here, and in the Philippines, it's just so ordinary...so if you can process it and send it over...that's a thought

2) Duhat or Lumboy...The beverage industry is always innovating. There's a booth that just sells tea galore...and another, flavored sodas...chile is the only booth that sells carica which is some sort of mountain papaya. It has a cross taste of mango and pineapple. Really good and something new.

3)Where's the durian? Not even the Asian neighbors have that

4) And talking about piaya. In spain, Ines Rosales sweet olive oil tortas is so good! We can flavor our own piayas and not make it simply boring.

5) and of course, lets not forget kamunggay, medicinal as well as yummy..someone has to do something on what we have there....and make it gourmet...

I can go on and on and on......

By the way, the balsamic vinegars are also awesome. And there were other flavored vinegars as well. That's another thing.

A few years ago, I told my good friend Mark, that I wanted to gather some vinegars aroung the country... Just like Italian wine, having distinct taste by region, our cane and coconut vinegar are the same way. Now that's another project. Anyway, I told Mark that I would re-bottle the vinegar and make the logo, "sawsawan ng Bayan". He didn't approve of the name because it had a bad tagalog conotation. I'm bisaya so I couldn't care less. Besides, who knows it might just click because of the name..Sex names could be catching. But eventually, I shoved that project too.

Okay, so I'd like to blabber some more, but I guess am too tired from too much walking, too much eating and too much just everything...But I did have so much fun.

Saan Manhattan?

Why is it that when pinoys travel to other countries, and have seen the landmarks, the first thing they ask is whether there’s any Filipino restaurant around? Thoughts of crispy lechon smothered in garlic onion pinakurat vinegar, eaten with green mango and bagoong accompaniment on a bed of steaming, hot rice is all one thinks of when far from home…

And if there’s one thing that really irks me more is when someone says they’re looking for a restaurant with a ‘lutong bahay’ kind of food. I don’t know about you, but, lutong bahay to me is vague. Whose bahay? Whose region? Why would someone look for a lutong bahay in downtown Manhattan? Or did you mean ‘lutong restoran?”

I have yet to see a Filipino restaurant here in New York evolving into an artistic, moma kind, broadway flair , Filipino haute cuisine with post modern exotic regional dishes taken from different parts of the Philippines. We already have been outcasted, outdone, outmaneuvered by our fellow Asians. The Korean has fused itself and claimed a district in midtown Manhattan, the Vietnam sour spicy phos and the pad thai’s of Thailand are weighing itself against the Italian pastas. Plus the Indian curries and papadums have landed into nouveau fine dining cuisine along with its Mediterranean counterparts.

And what about us, pinoys. We are still stuck to the old cafeteria turo-turo style. The family buffet mentality that drags us to the menial servitude of ordering one dish for all, and all dishes for one.
Where all the food orders are placed in the center for all to share,because as they say --Sharing is Caring.

How then can our own cuisine be known without being branded as copy cats of asian neighbors.. Lumpia Shanghai is of Chinese descent and isn‘t adobo Mexican or that lechon asado is Spanish for roast suckling pig? And what’s special about pancit --when everyone has pasta, lo mein, pad thai and rice noodles?

Anthony Bourdain in his t.v. show, “No reservations,” once asked that, “the Filipinos are very well represented in America but why is it that Filipino cuisine is a BLANK PAGE?” And Market Manila’s answer to his question was profound and precise, in the sense that we Filipinos in general easily adapt ourselves to new places much quicker than other cultures. We are as comfortable eating a shawarma in Saudi, or wherever country we land, we‘re okay when it comes to food……..

If I were to put up an eating place to bolster the evolution of Filipino cuisine, Manhattan is the place to do it. I will revolutionize the way pinoys eat. I will not go for a client that say’s “do you have this or that?”, because that is not the restaurant I will create. Instead, I will look for clients that say, “surprise me!” and then I will create my masterpieces.

My dishes will be named after people, events, places and anything significant pertaining to the Philippines. High quality with homegrown freshness and the best of ingredients with a collaboration of global finds plus the latest of equiptment will comprise my spotless work area. So as not to burn the pockets of many Filipinos counting their valuable dollars multiplying everything by 50 to one, I will offer a prix fixe menu. And here is a sample of what might come out of my kitchen:



PINOY PINAKURAT
(a CIA prix fixe Menu)
By a Cuisine-nera In America

Paquiao Punch
(it will really knock you out)
A cocktail mixture of vino kulafo, tequila and cachaca on a tall glass rimmed with lime and sweet colored sugar garnished with chopped mint and cucumber tidbits.

Imelda’s shoeless Feet
(an adaptation of the chicken feet appetizer)
the chicken feet is segmentedly cut up to display sticks, Pressure boiled with wine aromatic herbs and seasonings, smothered in a red wine reduction artistically displayed over blanched kangkong
(be careful of the tiny chicken bones)

Charlene Pampenco’s BAM-EEEYAYEYAY will always love you uuu
(this is my version of the visayan bam-I….as the salad part)
Fresh juliened vegetables of carrots, green beans, and fungi porcini, cremini and button mushrooms (I hate tenga ng daga, they‘re like chewing gum with leather texture)

Halili Six Tortelini
(try saying it with a visayan accent, you’ll know why, and my version of Dinuguan sauce )
Six pieces of meat tortellini with blood stew red wine reduction and jalapeno puree
This will be a bloody spicy entrée and exciting to the palate

Con-Ass d’Cochons
(translation: Con-Ass of Pigs…for want of a better title to what‘s happening in the P.I…the main course because it‘s what‘s happening now )
3 pcs of 2 square inches lechon kawali style with golden crispy skin and soft buttery meat garnished with a terrine of chicken liver /balsamic vinegar for that acidic taste to contrast the succellent pork taste and garnished with colored pepper and sea salt bits.

APO disiac
(dessert-Ever hear of the threesome Apo Hiking--this is my tribue to them. The title reminded me of J.P who recently wrote sex phrases in f.b. and got a kick out of it)
A small single serving rounded three tiered dessert composed of maja maiz at the bottom, centered with leche flan and ube inspired panna cotta surrounded by a sauce of coconut cream and muscovado sugar spiked with tanduay rhum (pinoy version of bailey’s) and topped with a chocolate flat mold musical note.

Barack O’ Sama-sama
(and finally an expresso fit for a king, ingredients found in the P.I.)
A teaspoon each of Kopi Luwak (most expensive in the world) from Cavite, and Liberica coffee from Batangas. Cream and sugar at the client’s discretion)

I assure you that after one has had his fill of the above dishes, he will do a MacArthurian reply of “I shall return.”

And now, I shall conceptualize my dream and make a business plan. Hopefully, I can entice some investment banker in Wall Street for capitalization..….Oh well, pinch me, because I’m just dreamingl!!!!

PAW LITICS ( you scratch me, i scratch back) OR POO LITICS (i don't give a sh*t)

Yesterday , in Milk and Honey Land, an election was held for the primaries for governorship, wherein those that won would be the official candidate to run under their affiliated political parties.. Something like a Hilary/Obama vying as president for their Democratic party.

On the other side of the globe in Paquiao Land, the Con-Ass was approved, sending many a citizens into a buzz for possible people power number (?).

I am never one for politics, and in family parties, there are two topics we never discuss--which is politics and religion. Yet it is the most debated, and talked about wherever one goes.

Politics in America is highly sophisticated in their corruption, except for Illinois governor Blagojevich, who was caught selling Obama’s vacated seat. From what I can see, most politicians here, earn more money from their experiences and writing about it. I have yet to see a president or anyone in high office who has not released a book.

In Paquiao Land, I think politicians have their own sets of books which they use as reference to conduct their evil ways. Black book for their mistresses on the side, Bluebooks for corrupt officials they can rely on, or red books on dummies used for their hidden treasures etc..etc..

Last night, I was in chat mode with one of my BF’s asking about the political situation in Paquiao Land. I asked him about the favorite ones I have had before leaving the country. Those that I thought would not even steal because they were highly principled people and had inherent wealth of their own. But I guess I was wrong. My friend had something to say about each of my preferred candidate’s corruption.. He knows, he says! Because he has inside information! Tell me about it!

I then asked how to combat all these corruption and evil in the system, and the answer was a very blatant, “you can’t beat the system. It’s so powerful, that you get choked by it.”

So why do you think this happens?. Simple: Evil men prevail where good men do nothing.

What am I saying? America has its check and balances when it comes to moral standards. When caught with their pants down, they admit to it and/or resign. Except for Bill Clinton, who admitted his non-adulterous yet lascivious act when it blew out of proportion, Presidentiable John Edwards apologized to his cancer stricken wife for siring a child. New York Gov. Spitzer resigned after admittedly hiring a call girl, and New Jersey Gov. McGreevy also resigned after admitting his homosexuality and having an affair with one of his aides. These were good men making wrong choices,and bowed out gracefully.

In Paquiao Land, high officials consider it a status symbol having someone outside of the marital borders, and at the same time these #2, 3 or 4 are just clinging to the fences waiting for the go signal of the high official’s aide for the visa visit. Everyone knows about the mistress, but everyone seems to be looking the other way. Why? Sapagka’t kami ay tao lamang.

And how do they sustain many wives with a measly government salary? Simple. Slice a chunk of that pork barrel and bring it home, approve anomalous projects with an invisible commission from the contractor, and grease those greedy hands such that when they cling more, they just slide off into your prepared bucket.

The term ‘free will’ is a gift given to us by the Almighty. It is ours to dispense however we like to. And if there is to blame for all the suffering, pain and evil that we are experiencing, it is because of the wrong choices we make.

If we choose to look the other way and think that the system is hopelessly corrupt, then we deserve what we get.
If we choose to stay put in our own little houses, contented in our own gilgal,and never mind about the thousands that go hungry because of our indifference, then we deserve what we get.
If we chose to do nothing or even say anything, then we deserve what we get.
In other words, these famous quote…’YOU GET WHAT YOU GET SO DON’T GET UPSET!”

However, there are those who are serious in change and I applaud them for that.

For, the Artists Revolution , you rock!
For the youth militants who go out in the streets to voice their disgust, I applaud you!
For those with a Mother Teresa attitude and look for their calcuttas, I am blessed by your concern.
For those true, sincere and dedicated men in government (Yes! I still believe there are, inspite of) and have remained poor, yet principled and persevered, I commend you.
And for those of you , after reading this little piece, will be compelled to join a cause for a changed Philippines, thumbs up!!!!

As for me, I will sit back with my glass of iced tea and munch on my burger steak, while thinking what I can do. Hmmm…I’m miles away from the battle, but with technology anything can work….Have to start planning my strategy…….….and then, as MacArthur said, “I shall return!!!

Battle of the Brainless

What happens when 2 doctors, an accountant and a lawyer meet in face book? They have the ultimate battle of the brainless.

What turned out to ba a simple question ended in a pingpong of diverse explanations which basically had all of us laughing our butts out. (nag utot utot sa katawa). Good thing in face book you can’t smell anything.

So,what is battle of the brainless? It’s when you have the right answer but addressing the wrong question. Or vice versa. It’s when someone joins in the conversation without knowing what the hell they’re talking about. Or it’s when one concept, idea, or thought is expressed in different meanings and languages. In other words, a rambling of everything that turns itself into a comedy.

Typical situations often come to mind such as this:

Airport Security: Miss, pakibuksan nga yung bag mo, baka meron kang tinatagong baril dyan.
Miss Giatay: Na buan ka dong. Di man gani ma sulod ang baldi diri sa akong bag, baril pa.

Many times the tagalog will riducule us bisaya for the way we pronounce our words. Just because we have a harder tongue doesn’t mean they’re so much better. Here’s an example:

Bisaya: Bai, naa ka ba bool gum?
Tagawg: Hindi yan ba bool gum, BA BEL gam yan.
Bisaya: Sigue gud. Dali , sakay na at ug tri- see kool
Tagawg: Anong tri- see kool… TRI SI KEL yan.
Bisaya: (ga ngit ngit na sa kalagot!) kani kahibaw ka?
Tagawg: Ano yon.
Bisaya: Bato bato sa langit, ang matamaan _______
Tagawg: dali dali naman…siempre, ‘huwag magalit!’
Bisaya: hindi oy….ang matamaan, BOO KEL (bukol ba)

Not only do we come at cross roads with other dialects, but we murder the English language as well. And often those DUH moments occur while impressing others . Have you ever come across beauty pageants in the province?

Announcer: Miss, what is your best feature?
Candidate 1: My bayst feture is wed my mama during my graduation in hay skul.

Announcer: Miss, what do you think is your edge among the others?
Candidate 2: (sabay smile ug beautiful eyes) Uhmmm, my edge is…18 years old.

Anouncer: Miss, what is the most memorable gift your parents gave you.
Candidate 3: (nag sway sway samtang nag think) …uhmmm..my memorable gift is taptpoy?
Announcer: Tap toy?! What is tap toy?!
Candidate 3: Kana gung Teddy Bird!!……(Duhhhh! Stuff toy na teddy bear!)

Okay, enough already…Hope you had a good laugh just as we had this week. So allegorically, let me explain how it went. I will not reveal any names lest I incriminate anyone, but it went something like this.

The gynecologist was stating something about the “lips’ in between the legs. The psyciatrist was talking about the ‘lips’ on the face, the lawyer wanted a clear explanation understandable in her language, and well…the accountant was sorry she asked the question in the first place. But we had a good laugh, didn’t we, girls?

Now, who’s having a battle of the brainless?

Law and Order: Bisaya Version

Law and Order is one of my favorite t.v.programs. There’s the S.V.U. (special victims unit), C.I. (Criminal Intent) or the regular episodes. Normally, it starts with a crime scene, an investigation and then the court case. Within the scenes, they give you twists and turns which eventually will either lead to a conviction or an acquittal.

Our family lawyer, Atty. Veloso, often told me that I should have had been a lawyer instead of an accountant because of my inquisitive mind. When there were disputes, I would ask numerous questions, and sometimes make my own comments. And those who know me very well, know for a fact that I did some investigative work a few years back to settle some perturbing issues.

Nevertheless, my first experience to a court hearing was a rape case of a man called “the lone ranger”. The cross examination was funny and somewhat disturbing because of the way the defense lawyer battered the victim.

In later years when my office was within the vicinity of the capitol building, where they handled court cases, I would slip from my desk and spend an hour in many a judge‘s sala. Sometimes, I would find it hilarious that lawyers would dress in their ‘Americana’ suit in the tropical heat. Or that the lingo used in every hearing is English, which many a tongue would ran amock with the visayan accent.

Poor guy, (either a vicitm, a witness or the suspect) whose vocabulary is limited to his dialect and becomes a player in the court scene, will have to rely on interpreters. Such as this:

Questioning Attorney: What took you so long
Interpreter: Unsay gidugayan kuno nimo?
Witness: Nag lakaw lakaw ko ug hinay, kay sa akong huna huna, ang adlaw hapon na.
Interpreter: I two by two walk slow because I think the sun is Japanese.:

Okay, so not all interpreters are bad. Even the suspects themselves are to blame for their incarcerations.
In this case

Questioning Attorney Can you describe your rapist?
Victim: Yes, sir
Question: Okay, describe him
Victim (without looking at the suspect) : plat nose, bad smell, big ears, plenty rice on face (bugason), short, bery dark like agta,

Suspect looking down but in an audible voice so everyone could hear:; sigue gyud, pang insulta pa.

Or have you ever seen that scenario, wherein the suspect stands up and screams at his acuser? Well this one is calm and composed but one for the books:

Questioning Attorney: Did you see your attacker?
Victim: No Sir,
Questioning Attorney: Can you describe him, even if you didn’t see him
Victim: Yes, Sir.
Questioning Attorne: Okay, describe him.
Victim: Basta sir, small man to iyaha sir!

Suspect (looking directly at the victim) Saba diha oy, nganong ni shagit lagi ka? Toink!


Mike often blame me for being an ‘abogado’ to everyone even if it’s not called for. Whether it’s my kids, friends or myself, I can’t help it. I answer, when I’m not asked, I interrupt at conversations when I’m not included or I asked questions when its not my place to do so. Nevertheless, it’s just me, it’s just my pagka AMAW! (Abtik Murag Abogadong Wais)

Grilled Skirt /steak


The Chef



Lunch and Dinner in one sunday