Being Christian

One of the greatest compliment that I got from an atheist last year was the phrase, “ I wish all Christians were like you.” I pondered and thought what being “christian” really meant and how others perceive people to be ‘christian’.

A month ago, Christmas was celebrated to commemorate the birth of a saviour. However, many have confided the loss of its meaning. Even with family reunions and company parties, there are still broken relationships needing forgiveness or pride permeating the supposed jovial atmosphere. And with such materialism going around, many engage themselves with exceeding debts just to create that ‘show’ of prosperity that goes along with the season.

So what is a christian? It’s just like saying what is Christmas? Both words stem from the word Christ, yet, we have lost both the essential meanings and perspective of the word .

I was born catholic, if there was ever a term, but I became a christian believer 20 some years ago. It was not so much a soul searching kind of thing like most people that ‘converted’ would have done given an adversity on their lives. Mine were questions needing answers when the term “blind faith” no longer existed in my vocabulary. Doctrinal issues was one, way of life was another and a whole new perspective and dimension completed the whole picture.

My new found ’born-again experience introduced me into an ’us verses them’ mentality that I now came to realize only as being judgemental and sheltered. The thought of being confined to what my oldies termed as “don’t question those older than you” concept began to delve into the inner quest of learning more. After all, people do make mistakes. And when I did find my new faith more logical, I decided to go into it with passion and fire.

So when my relatives asked me what made me jump from Catholic to being protestant ,I immediately came into the most childish of answers. I would often conclude that many catholics are hypocritical.

Sunday christians go to mass to be seen, among other things. The males stay outside of the church smoking, and chatting with other males, then conclude that they have gone to church. Communion time comes, often make you segregate the more sinful commutants than those that are seemingly pious. You often become judgemental when gossipers walk up the altar to taste that round wafer letting the world know of their sinlessness , when just hours ago they were hurling curses .

And at other times, the feeling of only the the rich and moneyed have more access to the heavens. Every traditional ritual has a fee attached to it. Whether it is baptism, extreme unction, marriage, an amount is demanded before it is performed. Moreover, praying for the dead even had a fee whose names the priest blurted out during mass. Once when I was growing up, I could hear the priest say, “remember the souls of the departed such as ----and then he would say a litany of names. Few names meant fewer collection. And if there were more names, it would be carried over to the next mass. Oh Well! That was what it seemed when I was growing up.

I have long been out of touch with the the catholic rituals but I do enter the historical church buildings to admire their architecture. Sometimes, the walls talk to me as if for some reason they do have a story to tell. A wayward priest, an illicit affair, a scandalous episode…oh if only bricks could confide. But then again, these are just cement structures, and I probably have too much imagination.

The real church I later found out are the people that congregate. The fellowship, the sharing, and the closeness that is often felt by being part of a family. I have been blessed to experience having that kind of church. And even more. I have been in leadership, as well as behind the scenes.
Yet inspite of all these, the truly born-again experience is one that is deep, meaningful and life changing.

It does not jump from one religion of hierarchical dimension to another that is seemingly righteous and logical. Because in a way, religion develops its own culture whatever the denomination.

Many Christians are infatuated with their own churches. They have lost the true meaning of what being a Christian is. Sometimes, because of our passion for the Lord,we often force our beliefs on others oblivious to their feelings and thoughts. We do ambush evangelizations and engage in endless debates of how wrong their thoughts are if it does not jibe with what we believe in. Everywhere we go, the word “Lord” is always in all our statements.

There is nothing wrong with having a passionate and purposeful belief, but many ‘outsiders’ perception are often turned off by such tactics that instead of believers attracting them to the person of Christ, they are turned off by the ‘evangelist’ arm twisting and condescending attitude. Moreover, consciously or not, the arrogant behavior of many Christians often justify themselves with their feelings of moral and spiritual superiority.


For those so called “them” or “unbelievers” Christianity today no longer represent what Jesus had in mind, or what it was meant to be. As one outsider said, “Christianity has become bloated with blind followers who would rather repeat slogans than actually feel true compassion and care. Christianity has become marketed and streamlined into a juggernaut of fear mongering that has lost its own heart.”

So, how do we go about sharing God’s word without being judgmental and hypocritical? Or without being too pushy to the extent of not being welcomed? Many Christians often talk about the sinfulness of others, yet they fail to do anything about it. Sometimes, telling someone to pray for another is often a disguise for simple gossip, or that inviting an ‘unbeliever’ to a meal with a hidden agenda of evangelizing is no help in being called a ‘christian’.

We realize that there are many hurting people who do need comfort and a pill of preaching doesn’t always help. Moreover, people who portray a pious front yet in reality are worse than mongrels portray conflicting values. That is why Jesus would probably like to hang out with sinners and prostitutes , because they are transparent and do not have to prove anything.

Philip Yancey in his book what’s so amazing about grace clarifies the situation very well:

Having spent time around “sinners” and also around purported saints, I have a hunch why Jesus spent so much time with the former group: I think he preferred their company. Because the sinners were honest about themselves and had no pretense. Jesus could deal with them. In contrast, the saints put on airs, judged him, and sought to catch him in a moral trap. In the end it was the saints, not the sinners, who arrested Jesus.

Asking a denomination of ones belief often puts the situation into a them or us mentality. Wherein ones belief is a ticket for such an elitist organization and those without tickets, are grilled to join in. I have passed that stage.

My previous mentors would often say, “don’t just believe what I say, check your bible.” I have done that, and even went beyond. Or when the term “go, and make disciples…” I have done that too, with the arm twisting and the meal with the hidden agenda .Yet inspite of all these religious gymnast, I have learned that it is not I (or the ego) that is at work but most often is the case. We forget that the heart of these problems is really the problem of the heart.

Take the case of reacting to criticisms? If someone says that Christ and Santa are just one and the same, they are myths. Do we go baraging that critic for his shallow belief and false knowledge of the truth? Or when a prostitute and gossiper do their wayward deeds, are we quick to judge and condemn as such.

I have been criticized for being a relativist in the sense that I do not stand up for my faith. In reality, I do, but I choose my battles. The what would Jesus do slogan, makes us think twice before reacting to any given situation like those mentioned above. Many times Jesus was cornered and picked on by his critics about his morality and religious beliefs, yet he always answered them unpredictably. Sometimes in parables, in a question back forum or sometimes even in silence. Moreover, being careful into answering what lies behind the question or the motive, Jesus answers with deep insights that leave the crowd into thinking.

Being a relativist makes you understand the other person’s point of view. This kind of thinking makes me realize how to connect with people, their totality in a sense. Let me illustrate: One christian lady whose father was a policeman of the streets, say that the prostitutes in america sell their bodies to feed their habits. Either drugs, high living or convenience is the name of the game.However, when this same lady went on a missions trip in Thailand, she found a different story. Poor women who have children and whose husbands have left them, have no choice but to prostitute themselves in order to survive. This revelation came as a surprise and her outlook has extended to a more understanding of the ‘outside’ world.

Responding with the right perspective in mind is always beneficial. A condescending and condemning sprit has no place in drawing people near and listening to what you have to say.
Simply put, when an aspiring saint asked Mother Theresa, “How can I be like you?” her simple response was, “Find your own Calcutta.” She understood the core of the Christian life- the truest knowing comes in the doing.

PG10 (pursuing 10 goals)

New Year’s resolutions usually end up as empty promises unless followed up diligently up to the last 365th day when a new one takes its place.Therefore, in my case, I would rather make goals that are doable which can be qualified as well as quantified.


Here are my goals and how I think I shall achieve or even surpass them:


1) Top of the list would be my romance with food. Try to dine on restaurants owned by Iron Chef Mario Batalli, and Morimoto.


2) Moreover, I am blessed to be living close to New York City where there are so many restaurants featuring ethnic cuisine such as Jamaican, Turkey, African etc.. At least I would like to try one weird dish from a culture which I know nothing of.


3) It would be nice to watch at least 3 broadway shows this year.(Jersey Boys, Mama Mia and another one to be decided later )


4) Go down 2 sizes more. Two years ago, when I had my medical check up, I was 10 pounds overweight. A few months ago, I lost almost about 8 of those pounds and went down a size and a half lower. I will take out those two pounds from my waist and be my size again of 20 years ago. If I made it in 2 years without really trying, I will probably make it this time with much focus.


5) I am determined to make 5 books this year. You might think that’s way above my head. But didn’t you know I’m making children’s books? The memoirs and biographies are still in process and will take several years. But children’s books, well I have one already made out. That’s why I’m learning how to use the PDF and then go POD. With an Illustrator and my story, that makes a book, doesn’t it? (actually this goal is wishful thinking really)


6) Going organic is one way to have a healthy body and eventually a sound mind. Mike and I have decided to cut down on meats and keep our diet simple. Which means, we will only eat steak twice a year and will not settle for anything less, not even the Angus one. We are eyeing for the one they call the ‘aged beef’ because we want to know why it’s so expensive. So Veggies and Fruits are the thing for us now.


7) I will collect 100 or more cookbooks this year and send it to the Philippines. Since my daughter is taking culinary arts (she is also a graduate of interior design), I will support the combined dream we have of putting a business dealing with food. Iwant to put up a library as well as a commissary when I get back. (by the way, for the record, she still has the 3 hamburger joints which her husband had plus the catering business I left her) We will add more.


8) Learn another language. Everytime Mike and I take the subway around New York, we hear different kinds of languages. New York is really a melting pot of cultures and languages. I like to learn Italian since I have dreams of living in Italy for a few months. (I have the Italian connections you know). Mike likes French, but I think they smell of cheese and sometimes much worst.


9) Try to learn putting make-up on. For several years, my mask was just a dab of face powder and maskara. Only lately have I learned to make use of all the rudiments of putting on a real mask like moisturizer, foundation, eye shaper, and what have you. I never really got hooked on putting make up because, first of all, I find it too time consuming; Second, I didn’t think you needed to put so much on your face without looking whorelike and finally, my face would feel heavy with all those masks and made me look older than younger. But this time, as our wrinkles are starting to appear, we definitely need those putty to smoothen the lines. Besides, with the latest products in the market, it does make you look younger.


10) Change my wardrobe. Throw those Midwest jeans and t-shirts, and go for the New Yorker boots and hats. On second thought, I wont throw them away, I’ll just sent them to the Philippines.


So far, these are the only goals I can think of. I just pray that all these will be done in a year’s time before I can come up again with a new one.


New Year’s eve for me was quiet, having had only my two granddaughters with me, while my son and husband braved the cold in Times Square waiting for the ball to fall at the stroke of midnight. I do not want to expound the gory details but let me give you a hint: My granddaughters were dry as a desert ,but “my men” walked like bumble bees. Go figure.