You often hear your kids say, “mom, I'm bored” and many a times, it is easy to tell them that boredom belong only to fools because there is so much to do in this world and so little time. But when a wife becomes bored, what does she do? Well annoy her husband and torture him of course....And here are some suggestions which I gathered (and I altered some myself) on how to annoy your husband.
Hide the remote: if there's one thing that a t.v addicted husband hates is when he can't find the remote especially if his favorite show is on. Then he goes balistic when he really can't find it.
Do you have a husband that just can't get his hands off you? Then the easiest way to annoy him is bribe him with sex but don't pay up. I have several friends with husbands who think their wives owe them 'sex' due to the numerous refusals of the wife. My advise to wives who have husbands that do countdowns is to just declare a Chapter 11 (bankruptcy) and they cannot run after you until after 7 years. In the meantime, it's cash basis, so husbands have to pay up! (Diamond rings, new car, designer clothes, travels...etc... am I right, girls, or am I right?!)
If there's one thing that your hubby will get so annoyed is when you flirt with his friends. How many husbands hate it when their own wives flirt? But ladies, when you do flirt , just get ready for a lashing once you are in the privacy of your own bedroom. It really gets them annoyed and he eventually will say “what's with you?”
if that's not bad enough, your hubby will really get irked if you have a dinner date with your ex. Oh well! As for me, I can't have any dinner dates with my exes because they're all in the Phlippines or somewhere in timbuktu. But I can annoy him if I open my facebook account and surf on my exes timeline, while hubby is passing behind your back. Now that's annoying.
Sign your hubby to a dance class. If you're hubby is not a dance enthusiast and you would want him to at least learn because you dance yourself , then by all means, sign him up. Rest assured, that if there's one thing that will really annoy your hubby is to sign him up with something he is not so keen on even if it's not a dance class.
Treat him to a massage, but don't tell him that it's going to be done by a male . Now that's a no brainer, don't you think? But before you tell him his masseuse is male, egg him on how great the masseuse is on how your body was really rejuvenated, even if you didn't have a massage by the said masseuse.
Put him on a drastic diet. I once had an aunt who complained that my uncle wasn't giving her enough money for groceries that one day she decided to play a trick on him. She made him baked chicken but not until she sort of scraped off a lot of meat from the chicken. So when my uncle got his dinner he was surprised to see a skinny dry baked chicken. Of course it irked him, but eventually, my aunt accomplished her mission. Her allowance was increased.
This is a classic. TAMPER WITH HIS THINGS. Some ideas would be, loosen the screws of his eyeglasses, replace red ballpens with blue, starch his shirts, or just place his things randomly not in its regular place. And remember, always keep a poker face.
There are still so many ways like : Forget his birthday, whine about a big dream, badger him about his greying hair or balding spot, get rid of his porn (hahahah), use his picture for target practice, drag him to a marriage counselor (even if you don't need one), crown yourself with 'Queen of Jealousy' , pretend you have a secret admirer and send yourself roses, circulate his most embarassing picture, etc..etc..etc.. I can think of many ways and am so sure you could too.
But regardless of how much we annoy our own husbands, it's really a matter of attitude. My hubby, when he's in the mood, just laughs at my crazy stints. But I cannot deny that there are times that my antics would backfire, and we end up arguing. But you know what, one secret of having a great relationship is when we can both have a good fight. Because after every fight comes passionate sex. So ladies, start annoying your hubby, and tell me about it!
I have used this advise so many times and hubby would often say "there goes your theresian upbringing again".....well isn't that what the nuns taught us? spokening in england kuno!
No comments:
Post a Comment