My Techno Rehab Experience

Panic mode!. That was what I was experiencing a couple of weeks ago. My laptop of 5 years was acting up and it finally conked out, just when I was about to go on vacation.

So I told myself -- OMG! no more facebook, no emails, no stupid games like 'farmtown', 'typing maniac' or 'how well do you know kurdapya' to name a few. No more posting of funny pictures to let people know how creatively crazy I can be sometimes . So! what am I going to do?

Then I thought about those times, when the computer was not yet in existence. As I sat and pondered, I realized that there will be things my children and the generation to follow, will never ever experience such as we had "during my time".

I am then reminded of my telephone days, when I had to dial the numbers by putting my finger through a hole and sliding it till the stopper, then releasing my finger from the hole, sending the dial back to its original position. And repeating the whole process until we got the right phone numbers.

When I get a busy signal, the loudness of its TOOOOT....TOOOT...TOOOT....TOOOOT reverberated in my ear, but listening closely, voices would come out in between those toots like so: "Hellooo?'TOOOOT what's your number." TOOOT "call me up, TOOOT, my number isTOOOT nineTOOOT three fourTOOOT fiveTOOOT eight - -" and the message is repeated a zillion times over until someone says "okay!" Then you'd know someone has communicated a message. And I was one of those phone loonies with no better thing to do.

Normally, I would do the calling because my parents were strict and didn't want their scrutiny of anonymous whakos ringing the house. Besides, it would spoil the fun of adventure. The quality of my phone pal's voice and his diction would depend on how much information I would give. Aliases or giving my neighbor's profile was often what I communicated. Only after the 'eyeball' experience would the revelation of my identity be known. And mind you, I would always bring my neighbor for that 'meet'. If my phone pal was cute and worthy of my friendship, then I would identify myself as the perpetrator, otherwise, there would be two innocent people who have no idea what hit them .

Party lines will be a thing of the past. Ever had those screaming moments when you wanted to use the phone but the other end of the line wouldn't budge? I've had many of those 'hanging up the phone" incidents and those screaming curse bouts with such party lines. What a pain in the neck!

And then there were those term paper assignments that you typed on an Olympus which felt like playing drums with your fingers . I'd spend many reams of paper and rolls of ink ribbon just so I could finish one measly thesis to graduate College. We erased with strips of white paper and later on white liquid eraser. We'd spend hours and hours in the library just for a few morsels of information.

Technology has indeed revolutionized all these by its introduction of the computer. Internet, Word Processors, Skypes, emails and whatever it can to make life more convenient and entertaining for all.

My computer is like my best friend. Never complaining, keeping me company in times of boredom and loneliness. It has reconnected me to the outside world and has made my life easier and less costly. I'm never at a loss of something to do when I have my computer.

Then there was facebook. At first I thought of it like one of those click and forget sites. Like the ones which are really for bored surfers. I already had my own blogspot and was posting pictures in Multiply that I didn't need any of them. I thought that was enough global socializing and networking plus the tons of emails I get, but facebook was all these combined. And hooking up with friends is just but the meat in the bone.

Every morning when I wake up, I'd turn on my computer and check on facebook. With a cup of coffee by the side, I would scroll down to check on a friend's sharings. Sometimes I would look up friends from my friends site and add them to my list. During the day, I would make several trips to my computer and check on facebook. And just before I hit the sack, facebook was like my good night prayer. I was having so much fun that I was hooked to the site. Before long, I realized I was a facebook addict. Playing the games, chatting with friends, posting notes and pictures. Everything was just plain entertaining.

For awhile I hated myself and even tried to psychologize what facebook does. First, I realized I had too much time to waste so I go to facebook. Second, I am a sucker for information back home and miss getting in touch with friends. Third, I am a passive receptacle for whatever news, articles and gossip that goes around. And of course, I also want to share my silliness and be recognized for it AND I don't mind the redundancy even if it bores me to death.

So, when I was going for that yearly vacation to the Hamptons without a computer , I panicked like a drug crazed maniac going into rehabilitation. I had no time and money to buy a new computer, so I resigned myself to being BORED! But, miracles of miracles, I went for 2 weeks without real prolonged global communication. Relying only on a friend's computer, I would borrow it for no more than 15 minutes a day just to check emails and reply if necessary. Other than that I would go about my ways of enjoying my holiday of reading, swimming and simply unwinding.

Slowly, I became more relaxed as the only screen I was exposed to during those days was sunscreen ..The hours I spend in facebook, multiply or other sources of computer entertainment no longer obsessed me. I am back to where I once was before facebook.

Last weekend, after my rendezvous with my high school friends at a Manhattan restaurant, I proceeded to an apple store and bought myself a MacBook Pro . I am still honeymooning with Mac, getting to know its features . I have disciplined myself only as needed lest I am mesmerized again. While I use my computer for catching up on overdue assignments, revived numerous projects and surfed my researches, I have not totally abandoned the importance of networking with friends, and I do chat on occasions. But then I have learned to limit the use of my computer and use it as my slave rather than it mastering me.

I have been rehabilitated....I have been restored...

I am now at peace...OR AM I?



The apple employee who helped me get my computer. They also give free tutorials on the mac, and they're just as good looking like this guy...so mas inspired gyud...

Fancy Food and Me

They say, that in one's lifetime, you can have 3 career shifts. At this stage of my life, I am at my third. The first being in the Gift, Toys and Housewares Industry, where I was an exhibitor of shows and exporter, and the second was in the furniture industry. But if there's one thing that is more exciting, it is in the service and food industry which I am now presently engaged in.

Every year, the Fancy Food Show has an exhibit in California, and New York and wherever state I am , I try to attend , which I just did today. This is the only show that when you come in, you have to be hungry, because by day's end, you feel like throwing up after having consumed the whole world.

You don't have to travel far in order to taste the Halloumi cheese of Cypres, the Jamon Serano of Spain, the gourmet cheeses of France and the prosciuto/pancetta of Italy. Truffle chocolates, peregina Baci, gourmet jelly beans, wine sticks which is actually wine jelly wrapped in chocolate (yummm) and other kinds of taffies and organic candies are all for the taking.

Although this year, I have lost sight of some regulars, new exhibitors have emerged. New packaging and service molds such as platters, individual servings for the caterers are being introduced to the high end market. Innovations and finds have also been presented.

If you think water is ordinary, think again. There are booths catering to different flavors and still retain that transparent water color. The ginger lemongrass is my favorite, against all those pomegranate, manggo, and different kinds of berries.

Olive, which is very visible in many European countries, has made its mark in many an exhibitors booth, either as brined, in olive oil or processed such as tapanade.
Cheese is another favorite ranging for the gourmet kraft to the 'cave aged' which is literally cured inside a cave. Truffles, foie gras and caviar which is the trinity of luxury dining is also part of the exhibit. They are all for display only ;except for truffle oil which I have generously indulged myself wherever booth I find, dipping small portions of bread and tasting its buttery strength.

What impressed me most in this years exhibit, as against last year, was the presence of many Asian counterparts. Aside from China and Japan who are regulars, The Thais are very strong with their processed fruits, from mangosteen, pineapples, longans and even their own rice. Some selling plain dried fruits, others processed gourmet. The Indians will not be outdone with their curries and basmati rice plus some processed spices. The Koreans had kimchi, and were giving out recipes that contained fusion inspiration like Kimchi quesedilla and tuna sashimi kimchi. Even the vietnamese had pho noodles similar to our mami instant noodles. If there is one country that impressed me, it was the Indonesian booth, which was a family owned business but had lots of promise. And Sri Lanka had tasty teas, while the little city of Singapore had its presentation of gourmet foods.

Most of the Asian countries are supported by their own governments, as explained by some of the exhibitors. These were countries that helped their farmers market their produce, of which only a minimal handling fee is taken for facilitation of shipment and communication. All profit goes to the farmer.

After the last leg of my walk around the whole show, stomach full and light headed from the sampling of wines, I felt depressed at not seeing a single Filipino exhbitor, much less even just a product. Deep inside me I felt so pissed off at our own government in not making its presence in these kinds of shows.

We have been sprouting culinary schools all over the Philippines, yet not one has ventured into gourmet food export. The fancy food show by its name caters to a special kind of clientelle and I am very sure, the Filipino can fill a spot anyway.

Here are some suggestions:

1) Did you know that a piece of balimbing the fruit sells at an organic store for at least 2 dollars a piece? Yes....it's that expensive here, and in the Philippines, it's just so ordinary...so if you can process it and send it over...that's a thought

2) Duhat or Lumboy...The beverage industry is always innovating. There's a booth that just sells tea galore...and another, flavored sodas...chile is the only booth that sells carica which is some sort of mountain papaya. It has a cross taste of mango and pineapple. Really good and something new.

3)Where's the durian? Not even the Asian neighbors have that

4) And talking about piaya. In spain, Ines Rosales sweet olive oil tortas is so good! We can flavor our own piayas and not make it simply boring.

5) and of course, lets not forget kamunggay, medicinal as well as yummy..someone has to do something on what we have there....and make it gourmet...

I can go on and on and on......

By the way, the balsamic vinegars are also awesome. And there were other flavored vinegars as well. That's another thing.

A few years ago, I told my good friend Mark, that I wanted to gather some vinegars aroung the country... Just like Italian wine, having distinct taste by region, our cane and coconut vinegar are the same way. Now that's another project. Anyway, I told Mark that I would re-bottle the vinegar and make the logo, "sawsawan ng Bayan". He didn't approve of the name because it had a bad tagalog conotation. I'm bisaya so I couldn't care less. Besides, who knows it might just click because of the name..Sex names could be catching. But eventually, I shoved that project too.

Okay, so I'd like to blabber some more, but I guess am too tired from too much walking, too much eating and too much just everything...But I did have so much fun.

Saan Manhattan?

Why is it that when pinoys travel to other countries, and have seen the landmarks, the first thing they ask is whether there’s any Filipino restaurant around? Thoughts of crispy lechon smothered in garlic onion pinakurat vinegar, eaten with green mango and bagoong accompaniment on a bed of steaming, hot rice is all one thinks of when far from home…

And if there’s one thing that really irks me more is when someone says they’re looking for a restaurant with a ‘lutong bahay’ kind of food. I don’t know about you, but, lutong bahay to me is vague. Whose bahay? Whose region? Why would someone look for a lutong bahay in downtown Manhattan? Or did you mean ‘lutong restoran?”

I have yet to see a Filipino restaurant here in New York evolving into an artistic, moma kind, broadway flair , Filipino haute cuisine with post modern exotic regional dishes taken from different parts of the Philippines. We already have been outcasted, outdone, outmaneuvered by our fellow Asians. The Korean has fused itself and claimed a district in midtown Manhattan, the Vietnam sour spicy phos and the pad thai’s of Thailand are weighing itself against the Italian pastas. Plus the Indian curries and papadums have landed into nouveau fine dining cuisine along with its Mediterranean counterparts.

And what about us, pinoys. We are still stuck to the old cafeteria turo-turo style. The family buffet mentality that drags us to the menial servitude of ordering one dish for all, and all dishes for one.
Where all the food orders are placed in the center for all to share,because as they say --Sharing is Caring.

How then can our own cuisine be known without being branded as copy cats of asian neighbors.. Lumpia Shanghai is of Chinese descent and isn‘t adobo Mexican or that lechon asado is Spanish for roast suckling pig? And what’s special about pancit --when everyone has pasta, lo mein, pad thai and rice noodles?

Anthony Bourdain in his t.v. show, “No reservations,” once asked that, “the Filipinos are very well represented in America but why is it that Filipino cuisine is a BLANK PAGE?” And Market Manila’s answer to his question was profound and precise, in the sense that we Filipinos in general easily adapt ourselves to new places much quicker than other cultures. We are as comfortable eating a shawarma in Saudi, or wherever country we land, we‘re okay when it comes to food……..

If I were to put up an eating place to bolster the evolution of Filipino cuisine, Manhattan is the place to do it. I will revolutionize the way pinoys eat. I will not go for a client that say’s “do you have this or that?”, because that is not the restaurant I will create. Instead, I will look for clients that say, “surprise me!” and then I will create my masterpieces.

My dishes will be named after people, events, places and anything significant pertaining to the Philippines. High quality with homegrown freshness and the best of ingredients with a collaboration of global finds plus the latest of equiptment will comprise my spotless work area. So as not to burn the pockets of many Filipinos counting their valuable dollars multiplying everything by 50 to one, I will offer a prix fixe menu. And here is a sample of what might come out of my kitchen:



PINOY PINAKURAT
(a CIA prix fixe Menu)
By a Cuisine-nera In America

Paquiao Punch
(it will really knock you out)
A cocktail mixture of vino kulafo, tequila and cachaca on a tall glass rimmed with lime and sweet colored sugar garnished with chopped mint and cucumber tidbits.

Imelda’s shoeless Feet
(an adaptation of the chicken feet appetizer)
the chicken feet is segmentedly cut up to display sticks, Pressure boiled with wine aromatic herbs and seasonings, smothered in a red wine reduction artistically displayed over blanched kangkong
(be careful of the tiny chicken bones)

Charlene Pampenco’s BAM-EEEYAYEYAY will always love you uuu
(this is my version of the visayan bam-I….as the salad part)
Fresh juliened vegetables of carrots, green beans, and fungi porcini, cremini and button mushrooms (I hate tenga ng daga, they‘re like chewing gum with leather texture)

Halili Six Tortelini
(try saying it with a visayan accent, you’ll know why, and my version of Dinuguan sauce )
Six pieces of meat tortellini with blood stew red wine reduction and jalapeno puree
This will be a bloody spicy entrée and exciting to the palate

Con-Ass d’Cochons
(translation: Con-Ass of Pigs…for want of a better title to what‘s happening in the P.I…the main course because it‘s what‘s happening now )
3 pcs of 2 square inches lechon kawali style with golden crispy skin and soft buttery meat garnished with a terrine of chicken liver /balsamic vinegar for that acidic taste to contrast the succellent pork taste and garnished with colored pepper and sea salt bits.

APO disiac
(dessert-Ever hear of the threesome Apo Hiking--this is my tribue to them. The title reminded me of J.P who recently wrote sex phrases in f.b. and got a kick out of it)
A small single serving rounded three tiered dessert composed of maja maiz at the bottom, centered with leche flan and ube inspired panna cotta surrounded by a sauce of coconut cream and muscovado sugar spiked with tanduay rhum (pinoy version of bailey’s) and topped with a chocolate flat mold musical note.

Barack O’ Sama-sama
(and finally an expresso fit for a king, ingredients found in the P.I.)
A teaspoon each of Kopi Luwak (most expensive in the world) from Cavite, and Liberica coffee from Batangas. Cream and sugar at the client’s discretion)

I assure you that after one has had his fill of the above dishes, he will do a MacArthurian reply of “I shall return.”

And now, I shall conceptualize my dream and make a business plan. Hopefully, I can entice some investment banker in Wall Street for capitalization..….Oh well, pinch me, because I’m just dreamingl!!!!

PAW LITICS ( you scratch me, i scratch back) OR POO LITICS (i don't give a sh*t)

Yesterday , in Milk and Honey Land, an election was held for the primaries for governorship, wherein those that won would be the official candidate to run under their affiliated political parties.. Something like a Hilary/Obama vying as president for their Democratic party.

On the other side of the globe in Paquiao Land, the Con-Ass was approved, sending many a citizens into a buzz for possible people power number (?).

I am never one for politics, and in family parties, there are two topics we never discuss--which is politics and religion. Yet it is the most debated, and talked about wherever one goes.

Politics in America is highly sophisticated in their corruption, except for Illinois governor Blagojevich, who was caught selling Obama’s vacated seat. From what I can see, most politicians here, earn more money from their experiences and writing about it. I have yet to see a president or anyone in high office who has not released a book.

In Paquiao Land, I think politicians have their own sets of books which they use as reference to conduct their evil ways. Black book for their mistresses on the side, Bluebooks for corrupt officials they can rely on, or red books on dummies used for their hidden treasures etc..etc..

Last night, I was in chat mode with one of my BF’s asking about the political situation in Paquiao Land. I asked him about the favorite ones I have had before leaving the country. Those that I thought would not even steal because they were highly principled people and had inherent wealth of their own. But I guess I was wrong. My friend had something to say about each of my preferred candidate’s corruption.. He knows, he says! Because he has inside information! Tell me about it!

I then asked how to combat all these corruption and evil in the system, and the answer was a very blatant, “you can’t beat the system. It’s so powerful, that you get choked by it.”

So why do you think this happens?. Simple: Evil men prevail where good men do nothing.

What am I saying? America has its check and balances when it comes to moral standards. When caught with their pants down, they admit to it and/or resign. Except for Bill Clinton, who admitted his non-adulterous yet lascivious act when it blew out of proportion, Presidentiable John Edwards apologized to his cancer stricken wife for siring a child. New York Gov. Spitzer resigned after admittedly hiring a call girl, and New Jersey Gov. McGreevy also resigned after admitting his homosexuality and having an affair with one of his aides. These were good men making wrong choices,and bowed out gracefully.

In Paquiao Land, high officials consider it a status symbol having someone outside of the marital borders, and at the same time these #2, 3 or 4 are just clinging to the fences waiting for the go signal of the high official’s aide for the visa visit. Everyone knows about the mistress, but everyone seems to be looking the other way. Why? Sapagka’t kami ay tao lamang.

And how do they sustain many wives with a measly government salary? Simple. Slice a chunk of that pork barrel and bring it home, approve anomalous projects with an invisible commission from the contractor, and grease those greedy hands such that when they cling more, they just slide off into your prepared bucket.

The term ‘free will’ is a gift given to us by the Almighty. It is ours to dispense however we like to. And if there is to blame for all the suffering, pain and evil that we are experiencing, it is because of the wrong choices we make.

If we choose to look the other way and think that the system is hopelessly corrupt, then we deserve what we get.
If we choose to stay put in our own little houses, contented in our own gilgal,and never mind about the thousands that go hungry because of our indifference, then we deserve what we get.
If we chose to do nothing or even say anything, then we deserve what we get.
In other words, these famous quote…’YOU GET WHAT YOU GET SO DON’T GET UPSET!”

However, there are those who are serious in change and I applaud them for that.

For, the Artists Revolution , you rock!
For the youth militants who go out in the streets to voice their disgust, I applaud you!
For those with a Mother Teresa attitude and look for their calcuttas, I am blessed by your concern.
For those true, sincere and dedicated men in government (Yes! I still believe there are, inspite of) and have remained poor, yet principled and persevered, I commend you.
And for those of you , after reading this little piece, will be compelled to join a cause for a changed Philippines, thumbs up!!!!

As for me, I will sit back with my glass of iced tea and munch on my burger steak, while thinking what I can do. Hmmm…I’m miles away from the battle, but with technology anything can work….Have to start planning my strategy…….….and then, as MacArthur said, “I shall return!!!

Battle of the Brainless

What happens when 2 doctors, an accountant and a lawyer meet in face book? They have the ultimate battle of the brainless.

What turned out to ba a simple question ended in a pingpong of diverse explanations which basically had all of us laughing our butts out. (nag utot utot sa katawa). Good thing in face book you can’t smell anything.

So,what is battle of the brainless? It’s when you have the right answer but addressing the wrong question. Or vice versa. It’s when someone joins in the conversation without knowing what the hell they’re talking about. Or it’s when one concept, idea, or thought is expressed in different meanings and languages. In other words, a rambling of everything that turns itself into a comedy.

Typical situations often come to mind such as this:

Airport Security: Miss, pakibuksan nga yung bag mo, baka meron kang tinatagong baril dyan.
Miss Giatay: Na buan ka dong. Di man gani ma sulod ang baldi diri sa akong bag, baril pa.

Many times the tagalog will riducule us bisaya for the way we pronounce our words. Just because we have a harder tongue doesn’t mean they’re so much better. Here’s an example:

Bisaya: Bai, naa ka ba bool gum?
Tagawg: Hindi yan ba bool gum, BA BEL gam yan.
Bisaya: Sigue gud. Dali , sakay na at ug tri- see kool
Tagawg: Anong tri- see kool… TRI SI KEL yan.
Bisaya: (ga ngit ngit na sa kalagot!) kani kahibaw ka?
Tagawg: Ano yon.
Bisaya: Bato bato sa langit, ang matamaan _______
Tagawg: dali dali naman…siempre, ‘huwag magalit!’
Bisaya: hindi oy….ang matamaan, BOO KEL (bukol ba)

Not only do we come at cross roads with other dialects, but we murder the English language as well. And often those DUH moments occur while impressing others . Have you ever come across beauty pageants in the province?

Announcer: Miss, what is your best feature?
Candidate 1: My bayst feture is wed my mama during my graduation in hay skul.

Announcer: Miss, what do you think is your edge among the others?
Candidate 2: (sabay smile ug beautiful eyes) Uhmmm, my edge is…18 years old.

Anouncer: Miss, what is the most memorable gift your parents gave you.
Candidate 3: (nag sway sway samtang nag think) …uhmmm..my memorable gift is taptpoy?
Announcer: Tap toy?! What is tap toy?!
Candidate 3: Kana gung Teddy Bird!!……(Duhhhh! Stuff toy na teddy bear!)

Okay, enough already…Hope you had a good laugh just as we had this week. So allegorically, let me explain how it went. I will not reveal any names lest I incriminate anyone, but it went something like this.

The gynecologist was stating something about the “lips’ in between the legs. The psyciatrist was talking about the ‘lips’ on the face, the lawyer wanted a clear explanation understandable in her language, and well…the accountant was sorry she asked the question in the first place. But we had a good laugh, didn’t we, girls?

Now, who’s having a battle of the brainless?

Law and Order: Bisaya Version

Law and Order is one of my favorite t.v.programs. There’s the S.V.U. (special victims unit), C.I. (Criminal Intent) or the regular episodes. Normally, it starts with a crime scene, an investigation and then the court case. Within the scenes, they give you twists and turns which eventually will either lead to a conviction or an acquittal.

Our family lawyer, Atty. Veloso, often told me that I should have had been a lawyer instead of an accountant because of my inquisitive mind. When there were disputes, I would ask numerous questions, and sometimes make my own comments. And those who know me very well, know for a fact that I did some investigative work a few years back to settle some perturbing issues.

Nevertheless, my first experience to a court hearing was a rape case of a man called “the lone ranger”. The cross examination was funny and somewhat disturbing because of the way the defense lawyer battered the victim.

In later years when my office was within the vicinity of the capitol building, where they handled court cases, I would slip from my desk and spend an hour in many a judge‘s sala. Sometimes, I would find it hilarious that lawyers would dress in their ‘Americana’ suit in the tropical heat. Or that the lingo used in every hearing is English, which many a tongue would ran amock with the visayan accent.

Poor guy, (either a vicitm, a witness or the suspect) whose vocabulary is limited to his dialect and becomes a player in the court scene, will have to rely on interpreters. Such as this:

Questioning Attorney: What took you so long
Interpreter: Unsay gidugayan kuno nimo?
Witness: Nag lakaw lakaw ko ug hinay, kay sa akong huna huna, ang adlaw hapon na.
Interpreter: I two by two walk slow because I think the sun is Japanese.:

Okay, so not all interpreters are bad. Even the suspects themselves are to blame for their incarcerations.
In this case

Questioning Attorney Can you describe your rapist?
Victim: Yes, sir
Question: Okay, describe him
Victim (without looking at the suspect) : plat nose, bad smell, big ears, plenty rice on face (bugason), short, bery dark like agta,

Suspect looking down but in an audible voice so everyone could hear:; sigue gyud, pang insulta pa.

Or have you ever seen that scenario, wherein the suspect stands up and screams at his acuser? Well this one is calm and composed but one for the books:

Questioning Attorney: Did you see your attacker?
Victim: No Sir,
Questioning Attorney: Can you describe him, even if you didn’t see him
Victim: Yes, Sir.
Questioning Attorne: Okay, describe him.
Victim: Basta sir, small man to iyaha sir!

Suspect (looking directly at the victim) Saba diha oy, nganong ni shagit lagi ka? Toink!


Mike often blame me for being an ‘abogado’ to everyone even if it’s not called for. Whether it’s my kids, friends or myself, I can’t help it. I answer, when I’m not asked, I interrupt at conversations when I’m not included or I asked questions when its not my place to do so. Nevertheless, it’s just me, it’s just my pagka AMAW! (Abtik Murag Abogadong Wais)

Grilled Skirt /steak


The Chef



Lunch and Dinner in one sunday

Chunky and Healthy

Pictures are very deceiving, and when my figure appears in face book from someone else's page, I go ballistic when the shot is not my best angle. And I’m talking about the one my brother in law posted during my granddaughter’s birthday bash. hahahaha!

Yes, I had a reality check. I used to dream I had this gorgeous Jeniffer Aniston body, when in reality, I could be a contestant in the show, “the biggest loser”. You know, it’s that show wherein you come in really obese, then you work yourself out until the one who lost the most number of pounds wins!

Nevermind the friends who saw my plump figure and mocked me. Or even mere acquaintances and long ago friends who said, “si vanette na?, haaay! Katambok na niya noh?” (is that vanette, HOW FAT!) But If my own daughter starts to comment and says, “grabeha nimo ma oy…pag girdle gud”..(mom! you should wear a girdle) ..Then this time I really have to take my weight seriously…..AS IN SERIOUSLY. Why? Well, it reminds me of this joke:

Ngano man ang baktin inig lakaw,magduko? (why does the piglet look down when he walks?)
Ang- ang, ma ulaw man kay ang iyang mama, baboy!…(Obviously! He’s ashamed that his mom is a pig!) ..That my friend is the. reason why I will now take my weight seriously.

My husband will never say I’m fat. In actuality, he likes me the way I am but cautions me on my eating habits . He loves those ‘love handles’ a.k.a. bilbils.. Instead of putting his arms on my shoulder, he puts it on my waist, where he pinches and kneads them. Well, that’s because if he goes any higher or lower, I smack his hand right off (if you know what I mean)

Ever since I can remember, I was never fat. I was always skinny, and even when I was pregnant, it was only my belly that would swell…oh and sometimes my nose. But I remained small. However as I grew older, I gained more weight, even if I do exercise occasionally.

If not for healthy reasons, I think plump people are happier. In my case, I am a cook (kuno) so I think I get more credibility than if I were thin. Unless you are a de Laurentis named Giada, who would trust a thin cook anyway? Di ba?

And just for some information, my daughter in law,the nurse says , one is a high risk of being a cardiac patient when you have more than .8 (point 8) . By determining the points, simply measure your waistline and dividing it by the measurement of your hips.

Oh no!!!! . Got to get more of those dvd’s on hip hop abs, pilates, salsa, taebo’s and kickboxings…. ….ebay, here I come!

Mother's Day Hangover

It’s been a week, and mothers are back to the grind of being a maid, teacher, driver, psychologist, cook etc..you name it, we are it. But once upon a time, women were the rulers and masters of this universe.

In prehistoric times, archaeologists theorized that we belonged to a matriarchal society where women’s time and accomplishments were given more value. They believed that women were “ godlike” because of their abilities to bring new life to the world. Such 'secret' was the bonding element of their tribal sisterhood which brought power to them. Competition amongst women was unheard of, instead, they nurtured and supported each others strengths.

Anyway, the men started to be smart and realized that they had a role in this so called ‘new life’, thus the power shifted. Don’t you often wonder why men think of sex all the time? I think it’s got something to do with the unconscious heritage of that find. The revelation of such conquest made them superior. So they think!!!!

Moreover, women continued to lose power when the men began the custom of removing women from the tribe. It was the men that started initiating marriage and have ‘exclusivity’ rights. Am now picturing that prehistoric scene where a caveman has a club in one hand, while dragging the hair of a woman on the other.

What is applicable in prehistoric times, may not be so in today’s era. Before, men’s physique gave them the title of women’s protector mainly for survival reasons. In this day and age, there are no more bears to hunt nor lions to kill. What may have started as protection in those days has turned now into dominance. But the men still try to hold on to that superiority and dominance which through time is making many women today uncomfortable.

And society is no help in the sense that it feeds children with so much fairy tales and fallacies. Growing up, we were made to believe that woman's place is in the home and that we should hone our cooking and sewing skills if we wanted to attract a good husband. Hogwash!

Let me enumerate some of the revelations I have found after living in 'fairy tale land'.

1) Women don't need rescuing. We're pretty much sufficient.
2) There is no happily ever after. They just get married.
3) Step mothers aren't really that wicked...sometimes only, she's only woman, you know.
4) The prince left Snow White because he couldn't stand 7 meddling fathers in law ...Oh did you know that snow white was adopted by the dwarfs?
5) Cinderella lives in a beautiful castle, but she still talks to the animals. Rumor has it that her Prince has a mistress hidden in another kingdom, away from Cinderella's moles and rats.
6) Beauty is getting to look like her husband. She can't continue her botox treatment because they invested heavily in Lehman Bros and Merryl Lynch. The Beast is now in his 80's.
7) Ali Baba wondered were all his gold went. Someone confided it was part of the Yamashita treasure. He wonders who has it now.
8) The elves and the shoemaker are all working in Carcar, Cebu or Markina
9) Hansel and Gretel inherited a pastry shop.
10) Rapunzel has cancer. She had to go bald. She's looking at the bright side-- at least no one can pull her hair now


So going back to Mother's Day. Mother's DAy is really defined as " nine months after father's night".... but that's only part of it. In actuality, it takes a whole village to care for a child. Such was what the women did in those pre-historic eras. Not all were child bearers. Some were caregivers, cooks, nannies, midwives etc...Each had their own strength, and they all knew who to call and when to call them.

When the males knew the 'secret' and power was shifted, the women had no recourse but to succumb in fear of eradicating the human race. By stopping population, humanity would surely be open to extinction.

So now, don't you think we shouldn't have only mother's day...How about a caregiver's day, a nanny's day, a cook's day......on the whole, why don't we take everyday, a 'woman's day' since we do more than 365 things. Now, that's more like it!!!

Mother's Day Appetizers



shrimps in tequila and lime sauce



baked mussels in garlic

Cokcroach and Time

Last Sunday, I read a friend’s article about understanding generations and he wonders if today’s parenting is at par with those before us. As I sit and ponder at what he had written, an incident happened while I was baby sitting my apo. A small tiny cockroach peeped it’s way out of a hole sending my apo shrieking. This is the inspiration of my story.

As a child, my mother never thought much about cockroaches because for them, they were part of the household just as carrabaos were farm hands. It was a familiar site in their Spanish style houses, often found at the basement, where the harvests of rice, corn, vegetables and other fruits were kept. Unless the roaches didn’t bother anyone or step on any cooked food, it was okay, otherwise, they landed at the bottom soles of the helper’s wooden slippers.

It was only when I was growing up that the campaign for exterminating cockroaches were rampant as it was hazardous and filthy. I still remember the RAID commercial where a can of insecticide killer was featured with muscular arms pounding on nervous cockroaches scampering everywhere fearful of the can’s power. Eventually, wherever nook and crany the roaches went, the spray hand would always knock them dead. No Escape!

But of course, concerns about mists landing on food while spraying was suspect for food poisoning. The era of my children came when animal brutality was frowned upon. Surely, the cockroach was a necessity, at least in the food chain. Why then would God make them in the first place. Thoughts of subjecting pests to a brutal holocaust treatment was not an option, at least not when other living beings were concerned. Humans, because of their compassion and intelligence, created the killer CHALK! Yes, the killer chalk, with its insecticide component, was a tool to give the cockroach intelligence. Let them decide their fate.…By drawing a line, a roach could fulfill its destiny. It’s the human’s territorial compromise.. Okay, roach!! Cross those boarders, and you’re a dead pest!. Its your choice, it’s your move. Come inside my house when you’re not invited and you’re a goner…It’s as simple as that…And yes, there were some chalks that are effective.

Even if a house is immaculate clean, there will be roaches everywhere for as long as there are three things. Food, Water and Shelter. And all homes have those elements. They can live in a crack somewhere in your home and remain there for ages. Not until its rowdy nth generation offspring tend to wander out of their abode will the humans find out that there’s a city of roaches behind those manicured walls. Only then will chaos break loose.

There are many kinds of cockroaches such are there are many cultures and races in the world. The ones we find in the Philippines are much bigger and more ’garapal’ as they say. They appear as fast as they disappear. But in the colder climates, they tend to be much smaller and dumber because when they go into man's territory, they're like probinsyanos feeling their way around.

Such was what my 3 year old grand daughter saw . A tiny cockroach about less than an inch crawling on the underside of a kitchen wall. By instinct she screamed and pounded on the insect with her delicate foot, not wanting to kill but decapitate it so as to throw it away. Her mother ran to see the commotion, saw the wriggly insect and stepped on it for the fatal blow. At an instant , my apo screamed and cried.

“no mommy, no kill it” cried Andrea.
“But why?” her mother asked.
“What about his mommy, and daddy and his brothers,” said Andrea. “They might look for him, and when they find out you killed it, they might come and get you.”

I swear, that my grandkid has never seen the animated Pixar’s movie titled ’ WALL-E‘, where the lead robot’s best friend was a cockroach. The animal rights movement would have kissed my grandchild if they knew the conversation between mother and child. Start them young in learning animal rights.,they would say.

Cockroaches are really pests and there’s many sitting in the government. The song, “La Cucuracha” translated as 'the cockroach' originated from Mexico and was meant for politicians more than anything else. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it!

Oh and my friend who wrote about that issue last week- well he went to a doctor one day because he woke up with swolen lips. The diagnosis was a cockroach bite. And I thought only frogs did the kissing. !!! Could you imagina a 56 year old male, with receding salt and pepper hairline, having lips like Angelina Jolie's? I can... Now that’s an instant free botox plump lip treatment--and we thought roaches were useless….

Here’s the recipe I promised. Please say the name with a French accent

COQ AU ROUGE ET THYM
(pronounced in visayan: COCKROACH ITIM…just kidding!)

(chicken with wine in thyme)

Coq au rouge or most commonly known as coq au vin was a dish using rooster and wine. History tells, that after one of his battles, Napoleon B. stopped by an Inn for some food. The Innkeeper only had roosters, so he cooked that and added lots of wine to the dish thereby not only enhancing the flavor but softening the meat as well. Moreover, to thicken the sauce, they would use chicken blood This dish became one of the best dishes in France. It is best served with mashed potatoes or noodles, depending upon your choice. This is already a derivation of that dish.

Chicken cut up in pieces
Oil for frying
1/2 bottle red wine (thus the name rouge for red/ or vin for wine)
2 large onions (or 4 medium onions)
¼ pound (125 g.) of bacon/ or pancetta
2 stalks celery
2 large carrots
2 cloves chopped garlic
10 sprigs thyme tied together
1 cup chicken broth (found in tetrapak at grocery stores or just water with bouillon cubes can do)
Butter
Flour
Mushrooms
Onions
brandy 2 TB

Take out the skin and season the meat with salt and pepper. Using a dutch oven fry chicken by batches in hot oil. Set aside. In the same pan, place in bacon or pancetta and when cook, add the mirepoix (carrots, onions and celery) until soft. add brandy. Sprinkle flour and mix with the vegetables, then put back chicken.

Add the wine, garlic, herbs and chicken broth. Simmer for a few minutes . Cover and Place in oven for 2 hours.

A few minutes before its done, saute onion and mushroom in butter in a skillet.

Before serving, add mushrooms to the dish..In my case, I placed the mushrooms at the center of my mashed potatoes and placed the chicken on top. Check your seasonings, adding salt and pepper to taste....then Plate. Garnish with parsley. (you can also use noodles)

I Scream ICE CREAM!

Do you ever have those days when your mind is totally a complete blank? I'm not talking about the Big A creeping in but something like an overdrive of your brain. Exhausting ones self to oblivion either mentally or physically will eventually result to a breakdown or fatigue.....It will lead to those "duhhh!" moments. when one just stares and gapes at nothingness....However, let me remind you, that if you do have those moments, make sure you're not in the presence of people because with a blank stare and mouth open, it will lessen your face value...if you know what I mean.

This whole week, I was just totally spent. In between sneezes and hot flashes, I was floating like a zombie. Reminds me of Michael Jackson's, "Thriller" song. One minute, I was dancing and gyrating to the 70's music, reminiscing my teenage years, and the next minute, am sitting down not even conscious that I'm staring at something.

Frozen in space is my theme for this week. Which means that I will be playing with ice cream, sorbets/sherbets, gelatos and granitas. So what is the difference...A lot and not so much...Ice Cream is simply what it suggests--frozen cream. Gelato is just the Italian name. Technically, sorbets are never made with milk or cream, and sherbets often have milk or buttermilk added. But then again, many professionals use the term interchangeably. Granitas are the simplest form of ice dessert. It's simply shaved ice.

Photographing ice cream is not easy since they easily melt. Many photo stylist often fake their shots by using mashed potatoes or shortenings. And there are many other tricks of the trade for this. But as of now, in my case, this is the real thing. For my three photos, my theme was MAHJONG......

Anybody for a chow. Am using melon balls on vanilla ice cream with green kaong for chips

Okay, so how about a PONG! Mga bintos pa gyud ang pong. Kuwang nalang ug usa para ma Cang! Vanilla ice cream with green kaong.

Kani ang pinaka WAITING! Seven balls para Mahjong! All up single, siete pares, paningit and jai alai.....Oh usab pa ta!


Then I made kiwi granitas which I placed in the ice maker and turned it into sorbet. It tasted so good.
I placed the cherry because I had a funny thought in mind which I will keep to myself the explanation.......

Another glass serving with dollops of whipped cream. How cute those small dots look.

The recipe is so simple: 1 kilo kiwi fruit peeled and chopped (take off the center stems)then place in blender or food processor. Mix with3/4 c. sugar which was dissolved in 1 1/3 water. Chill.

To make granitas, when it starts to set, scrape it down. And to continue into sorbet, place in your ice cream maker and follow manufacturer's instructions.




Then my experiment of the frozen ice cream. My Thai friend said to shape a round ice cream and freeze it. Once frozen, totally wrap it in bread, making sure there are no holes that would expose the ice cream when you fry it. Leave in the freezer for hours until frozen hard. Then heat oil and fry for a couple of minutes until the outer layer turns crispy. (it doesn't look appealing when served as a whole. It looks like a meatball) So when serving, cut it up and pour in chocolate sauce, and powder with granulated sugar.

Oh, by the way, I froze several ice cream balls and one of them I coated with pecan nuts. And when I served it, I had to cut a portion to display the inside. I placed it on top of my granddaughter's over run chocolate cake...cool!

Pinoy ala Pobre

“Ma, kung puputi ako, yayaman ba ako,” (Mom, If I turn white, will I be rich?“) was an inquiry my eldest brother made as a kid. This was when the American soldiers would roam Cebu streets with their transistor radios and chocolates, and Cebuanos would go, “Hi, Joe!” . I often wondered what my brother's real intentions were. Would he want to be fair colored like the Americans or did he want to be rich? Or is being white a prelude to being rich?…

For me, being rich is a state of mind. And being poor is not the absence of wealth, but the absence of meaning. I often tell my children that the best investment is relationship, and if you put your time, effort and resources into having real, true friends, you will reap more than you can ever imagine.

Being rich is what many aspire in the material world. Commercialism abounds so much that sometimes we even measure success by having the means. Because many filipinos cannot fulfill their dreams in their own country, they opt to leave. A prominent school in Bacolod, has half of its population in the nursing department, while the other half is a combined mixture of business, the arts and the sciences. That just goes to show you how desperate filipinos are for a better life and their only recourse is out!


Some look for the American dream which is: German car, Italian Wardrobe and Swiss bank Account. or , the Chinese dream which is : an American house, a Japanese wife and Chinese food...but what is the Filipino dream? I asked a lot of my friends about this, and many replied - to get out of the country which is really a sad plight. But I guess it's a host of many things. The best answer came from an old 'boyfriend' who composed this song and which the apo sang...I heard this for the first time today and just loved it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ2ynVPactM

okay, so do you know who my 'boyfriend' was???? he was a cutie then...hahahah! (but this was in high school, silly!! so no need for explanation on both sides..)...so much for that..

Last week I spent my birthday with brunch at a Brazilian resto in Union Square. I ordered the breakfast menu complete with beans, kale veggies, cassava carbs and a glass of caiperinha. At 2 in the afternoon they were serving me cocktails with the meal! The drink was so yummy, that I had to try making it myself when I got home.

Caiperanha is a poor man's drink in Brazil, like tuba is for the Cebuanos. Cachaca is the alcoholic beverage from sugar cane and is different from rhum, which is a byproduct of molasses. To make the drink, simply cut up lime, mix it with sugar and mash it with a pestle. Put in crushed iced, and add the cachaca. Mix and enjoy. You can even brush the rims of the glass with colored sugar. (i placed brown sugar in mine) Drink moderately because it has the same effect as the agave (tequila)

Imagine, they even have my age printed on the bottle...Talking of coincidences..


A la pobre in spanish means 'of the poor'. And many recipes are called ala pobre because they are either missing some ingredients, or it is the dish which the lower level of the economic chain often eat. But for me, it is a matter of semantics. Anchovies to italians, bulad for us. Same thing. We may not have Brazilian coffee, but we have kopi luwak (the most expensive in the world). Or tequila to the mexicans, lambanog for us. Same thing.

For me, we are all the same-equal, whichever way you look at it. Even when it comes to taste. Everyone has taste, but not everyone has exposure or experience. For as long as we do what we like and are happy, money will just follow us. (that is another law of attraction!) So,..what then defines the rich from the poor...this is what i got:

" Rich people pursue their dreams, read a lot, are curious and they are still kids...Yet a poor person will always try to look damn smart, spend too much on shitty things, and will always hate rich people."

Well said, but as for me, how would I know, I'm just middle class!!!!!

And talking about the pobresitong pinoys, why is it that the filipino culture has the crab mentality....so for today's dish, I have made 2 kinds of crab recipe...relleno and salad. The salad has the costly ingredients like apples, cucumber, green pepper and the caesar salad dressing. The relleno has the leftover veggies I had in the fridge, potatoes, carrots, okra, raisins and seasonings.


Whether one is a rich man's side meal and the other a poor man's main, they still both are yummy either way...Enjoy!

Are you sure it's my birthday?

Birthdays are such a fun event when you're young. Not so much for gifts, but for the fun that it brings when celebrating with friends. When I was younger, my birthday gifts were so limited to mostly clothes, dolls and hair accessories. And my birthday parties consisted of cake, ice cream, spaghetti with sweet hotdog sauce and pork barbecue on a stick. Although they were fun and memorable, I just couldn't wait to be thirteen when I was officially declared a 'teenager'.

At 13, I wanted to be 15 right away so I could attend discos or 'mix' parties. I was popular then, and I got invited to many of the soirees, but not without a chaperone, which was either a yaya or a sibling. Turning 16 was cool, because I could then watch movies that had a 'for adults only' sign, which meant I was an adult. Moreover, I was able to get a student driver's license, even if I wasn't driving, much less have a car. At 18, I went on dates unchaperoned mainly because I was already dating Mike, and he was a familiar face in our household.

At 21, I got my license to drink in bars which really didn't matter because I was already drinking anyway. A few months later, I got married and had my first child, Wiggy...After that, I started counting all my children's birthdays as well, and got.....

The nice thing about marriage is, its a partnership where one remembers a birthday while the other one forgets. In my case, I already stopped having birthdays at 32...and Mike keeps remembering it for the past 18 years. If I'd have a debut, this is it. Am at the age, where there is so much selective memory. I often catch myself in these scenarios....

"Where the heck are my glasses?"
"It's on your head, mom!"
"Where's that sanamagan ballpen I was just using?"
"It's behind your ears, mom!"
"Okay, now where are those keys?????"
"It's on your hands, mom, you're holding it!!"

And with all these answers, I get embarrassed and the only thing that comes out is an "OH"!!

If that's not bad enough, how about meeting a friend at a mall, and you both shriek with glee. She remembers your name, but you can't hers. What do you do? Try to recall--pudgy nose, pimples like potholes, and a body to die for--then your brain goes--downloading....downloading..downloading....and..ERROR!..then you try to upload an image of betrayal, ..a sexy body, boys...aha!..Nadia!!!your classmate that stole your best friend's boyfriend...but that was years ago, and both of you start to reminisce ....

Ohhh! if only our brains had those microchips, that can store data and then retrieve it when needed. As a matter of fact, I am believing that I have such an implant. Every night when my hubby tries to touch my keys for his rations, I turn to him and say, "access denied, access denied". But then, he eventually gets the password correctly: a diamond ring, a new camera, dinner at an expensive resto...then it's "password approved". Or how about those request your children make.

"mom, can i have a car?"...and you say, "deleted"
"mom, can i go to so and so's place? "...and you say, "with attachments!"
"mom, can i have money?..and you say, "virus, warning, virus in your wallet"
"mom, are you okay?"...and you say, 'system failure'.....and the diagnosis--"menopause, menopause,...reboot!

To be asked what a person would be 20 years from now, is easier to answer for a person in his teens than that of a golden ager. The former would have outlined his goals and dreams, because of his youth. But the latter, whose physique has taken its toll, would reminisce on the things he should have done. Such were my thoughts a couple of days ago.

As I ponder and think about my life, I am thankful to God for allowing me the joy of living, the ability to stand up inspite of the many wrong decisions I made, and for giving me what I really needed: supportive family, loving friends and my health. That's just what really matters.
In time, the health will wean and the physique will give its way. Friends will soon be gone - as the saying goes, "my parents told me to respect the elders, but I've reach that age when there are very few of them."...and my family --well they will move on and have their own families.....

Coming to America was an eye opener for me in terms of the elderly. Here, families are too busy to care for their own, and that they are left to many Filipino caregivers. It is so sad, and I thank God that in our society, we do take care of our own elders , regardless...it is our culture, and Thank God I'm Filipino!!! But then again, my children are opting to move to different shores, and so am wondering again...and pray...will they still be living the Filipino culture?...That made me think..I should start being doubly nice to them because they will chose my nursing home...

But then again, I thought to myself, what if I lose my mind to the Big "A". That's the 'in' thing with the elderly isn't it? Tears just started rolling because then the 'what ifs' of not remembering friends, or recognizing my own children or even forgetting how to chew came creeping in. I started to feel depressed, but just as I was sliding into it, i snapped out of it realizing that negativity just won't help.

Life is what you make of it. And I have resolved in my coming years, that I will take each step as they come with a teaspoon of sugar, and not a grain of salt (kay it's ASIN), and not to sweat the small stuff. I will look at every adversity with a smile, and remind myself that it is temporary. I will keep a positive attitude and stay away from people with long faces (read the "Law of Attraction"--and long faces aren't attractive)...and even if I do become mentally lost , I pray that I will never loose that sense of humor......and so at this point ARe you sure, it's my birthday? or was it 9 months before, when my parents had sex? hmmmmm....

Itlog, Manoy , Orange!

If you are Cebuano, you would definitely know what "itlog, Manoy, Orange!" means. This phrase is so commonly heard from food vendors. When riding a bus to the province, there are necessary stopovers which will often have the food hawkers advertise their wares simultaneously shoving them into your faces.

For those with confused conjugations, or have a muddled mind, it is presumed that a person's yard balls are a reddish yellow. (Probably from hours of tight sitting--you know how buses can be so crowded during the holidays).

So now why am I talking about eggs and orange. It's because Easter is a time for eggs..and lots and lots of it...First of all, what's with hiding them, and then letting little children look for it? Second, what's coloring the eggs got to do with it? And third, don't they know that eggs cost so much nowadays, don't they think of those poor chickens that have to push their embryos out so humans can have fun? What's with you people??! Oh yes, and do you really end up eating those eggs you find after it has been crushed and probably peed on by dogs.....Eating all those eggs you find will cause a GAS-tronishing catastrophe which equals that of eating the musical fruit....(pinch nose)...pheeew!

Okay, so before I get carried away, here's my Easter contribution for the day...




breakfast fare for my grandchildren....and the title of my article.
(check out the hair--groovy fried quail's egg)

Finally, there is this argument about which came first, the bird or the egg?
My take on this is that they came together when creation was made--they came
in between Adam's legs!!!!
Now my question is, was Adam Cuacasian or Asian!




unsa man dong! Itlog Manoy Orange?

Ataya oy! (a cebuano expression)

Ataya oy! is many a cebuano expression when translated literally would mean "livered up". But what does it really mean? Atay is Liver in the Visayan dialect, and so a person using the phrase might just have had a moment of exhilirating experience...or something.

As a young child, we never had any liver food, except liver spread on toast. Since we were not tagalogs, we had menudo sans the liver. But after I got married, my mother in law made the best liver and onions. After that I grew more adventurous.

I am anemic, so when I was pregnant, I had to eat liver as source of iron. Then I finally had liver in menudo...then when I had drinking friends, they had paklay...then of course, there was dinuguan which I ate only when everyone was eating it too..(but now I prefer to make my own, or my daughter in law's or issa's)..Then there is the grilled chicken livers or wrapped in bacon then baked or slow cooked.

Today, I passed by the deli, and bought a pound of chicken liver which I made into three appetizers/tapas. But before I show you my creations and their recipes let me tell you a short story about three brothers to go with my three tapas.

Here's the story:

There were three Cebuano brothers who were so close with each other. Even as they grew up, had jobs and got married, they needed to bond. So every Friday afternoon after work, they would meet at a bar and would have a few drinks before spending the weekend with their respective families.

The bartender and the locals would always expect them. However, things changed and two brothers were relocated to other cities. One brother was assigned in Manila while the other was signed in Mindanao. The three brothers, because of their commitment, promised to continue the habit of drinking every weekend as a reminder of their closeness and brotherhood.

Every weekend, the lone Cebuano brother would go to the bar, order three drinks and after consuming it, would then leave. Many months later, as he came into the bar, he ordered two drinks. The locals were surprised and thought something happened. Everyone at the bar approached the Cebuano and offered their condolences.

Local: Bai, sorry about your loss.

Bisaya: Ngano man bai? (WHY?)

Local: You ordered ony 2 drinks so we pressumed one of your brothers died.

Bisaya: Oh! No! Both my brothers are still alive and I'm still continuing our promise. I am drinking for both of them...Di naman ko mo-inom,Bai...Kay BORN AGAIN naman ko! (I'don't drink anymore because I'm born again) ...

Local 1: GI ATAY NIMO OY!!

Local 2: ATAY MAN KA OY!

Local 3: ATOTS PUD!

Okay, so here's my three chicken liver tapas


#1 Chicken Liver terrine
(cut up chicken livers sauted in butter with onions and garlic with seasonings plus madiera wine. Pureed and placed in a dish, then cooled to form) serve with crackers or in this picture..wheat thins.






#2 Chicken Liver in Skewers
(marinaded the chicken livers on ginger, garlic, soy sauce, seasonings and drops of red sherry wine. Wrapped in home made roasted pepper, skewered, then broiled)














#3 Sauted chicken livers
(sauted in olive oil, with garlic, onions until brown but still pinkish inside. Transferred to bowl then remaining onions deglazed with wine and poured over livers)




After the shoot, Mike and I ate my creations with the pairing of a drink...vodka, tomato juice, lots of ice and a celery garnish...which by the way, is excuse number 7 which my friend, issa and I placed in our book entitled: "1,000 ways to refrain from sex without saying NO!".....BLOODY MARY!





ATAYA OY!

Lechon Kawali

The first thing that a Filipino misses when he goes abroad is its food. And aside from not being able to cook them due to lack of time, or too much splatter, it is my contention that a filipino must haves are: rice cooker, slow cooker and a turbo broiler.

When i visited the wine shop to purchase a bottle of red, I was surprised that a certain brand of white wine was on sale for a dollar a bottle, which in the regular market could have sold for at least 8. The sommelier then informned me that the liquid has oxidized and is just considered better for cooking than for the table version than it was suppose to be. I bought a whole box since i do a lot of cooking with wine.

The night before, I had already placed the pork belly in the slow cooker, poured a bottle of wine and some store bought broth to cover the meat. I then added some garlic, onions, bay leaf, salt and peppercorns and left it overnight to boil for 8 hours under the slow cooking method. When I woke up, I took it out of the slow cooker and strained it on a rack. At this point I got the turbo broiler.

An hour before lunch, I started to cook my rice on the rice cooker, placed the belly on the turbo broiler and set the timer for 45 mins. Then I just forgot all about it until I became hungry for lunch.

Did I need to watch the pork while it was boiling? NO
Did I need to stir my rice while it was cooking? NO
Did I have too much splatter while making my lechon kawali or did I
need to turn it and keep watch over it while making it crispy? NO

Did I have a good, complete Filipino meal without having too much hassle:

YES!YES!YES!....
(the side dishes are your choices...mine came from a bottle)

In conclusion, are you a filipino that has a rice cooker, slow cooker and a turbo broiler...

GUILTY AS CHARGED!

Food Pairings

I am now into food pairings which means that the food I cook or eat should be paired by a drink that not only pushes its way down from the mouth but must leave a full memory of the whole epicurean experience.

Wine, beer or any other alcoholic drink is more often associated with merriment. A time for celebration, relaxation and bonding with buddies. For others, it is to be shunned when religious beliefs are suspect to it for being of a different spirit. An evil temptress that takes away the guards of inner inhibitions. But then that is the perception of many a fundamentalist. And it was mine for several years, until my views have been altered by a more knowledgeable approach.

There are many stories in the biblical text that mentions of wine with meals. Even the first miracle of Jesus conerning the wedding in Canaan, was about wine. John Wesley, founder of the methodist church, said that "wine is one of the noblest cordials in creation", and Martin Luther even mentioned that, "Beer is made by men, wine by God." But how come, many associate it with drunkeness? The real problem is best explained by the chinese proverb:" it is not the wine's fault, but the man's".

When I offer an alcoholic beverage to a serious fundamentalist christian (especially pastors...hahahaha!), it is more often rejected. Why? because of the bad publicity alcoholic/fermented beverages has had, and the amplification of man's weakness/sinfulness. Until we understand what it is really to take in beverages with alcohol content and our goal of why we do so, it then become a totally different experience. In previous years, where drinking was an excuse to loosen inhibitions, it is my quest to be able to marry the solids with the liquids that play around my palate. It is an integral relationship that is personal, intrinsic and satisfying.

Combining food with drinks are often best when we know how to pair them. Fish with white wine, or red wine with meats are often the safe choice. But that was the norm years ago, mainly because fish or seafood meals were lighter and should have a lighter beverage such as whites. And thus vice versa the red. But a few years back, that has already changed. Many white wines have been grown in different regions globally that can produce a full bodied heavy texture similar to the reds.

One thing I have learned to food pairing is that if it grows together, then it goes together. Simply put, if you have pasta on your table it is a wise choice to order italian wine, or that tapas are great with Spanish wines. It would be exotic to drink Austalian chiraz with an emu meat, or that French wines with sock stinking blue cheeses with worms sticking out.

In the travel chanel, Andrew Zimmern's show "Bizaare Foods", he was eating among other Filipino delicacies, the famous "balut". The pinkish beak and the tiny fleshy hair coming out of the bird makes me cringe. Although he particularly liked the taste of its meat, he wasn't keen on the juices, which to us Filipinos consider it so tastily delicious. Yet as I pondered on the way he said it, I came to the conclusion that the taste of the juice is actually the excrements of the bird itself. You probably would do the same thing being stuck in a shell for 16 days, having poo and pee all over and getting boiled along with it. Best pair for this salty balut, is the sweetness of the tuba!..hmmm..that one Zimmern has to try.

Last year, I went to a tequila tasting in Chelsea Market, home of the Food Network. As i recalled, we had different dishes that went with the 3 kinds of tequila. We had a sort of ceviche for the blanco, a black bean concoction with the reposado and the churros for the anejo. It was a totally satisfying and educational experience.

Two weeks ago, Mike and I purchased a few ounces of foie gras. I have heard so much about it being paired with a sauternes, that I went to the wine shop and asked to see a bottle . Behind the cash register and on a shelf was an 8 oz of yellowish liquid, that had an engraved gold plated sign "cheap wine". The sommelier picked the bottle and presented it to me as the only sauterne he had. When he told me the price, my jaw dropped with amazement. The small sweet tasting 8 oz. alcoholic beverage known as a sauterne cost about $499.00 per bottle. No way, Jose! am I going to buy such an extravagant liquid. Instead, he suggested a cheaper beverage such as a muscat. Why do most expensive stuff be so grossly extracted--cheese with worms, roes from 20 year old beluga fishes, and sauternes made from noble rot...

I was priviledged one time to dine at a fine dining resto somewhere in Manhattan. Where once I get intimidated by well dressed waiters who ask for your first order of a drink, i then got to know the importance of wine stewards or sommeliers. They are the buddies of the chef, the matchmakers of the food served, the friends of vintners. They are the ones who make a living out of drinking wine and telling you which goes best with what. In as much as I did want to order several drinks for several courses he suggested, it was just over my budget to try them all. Later on, I bought a bottle I liked which cost a little above than what I would have spent over just a glass in a fancy restaurant.

Last December, Mike and I had lunch at Morimoto's restaurant. I had a Morimotini while Mike had a saporo beer, Japanese food with Japanese beverage. Coming home, this gave me an idea of coming up with my own drink to eat with my own namesake, Silvana (actually it was sans rival but similar in recipe). I called my drink Silvanatini which is a combination of tequila, exotic fruit juice and several cuts of strawberries, cucumber and cherries. Yummmm.!

Thinking about this blog, made me want to picture my friends!






Red wine with cheese, chocolates, crackers and fruit:



tequilla and tomatoes is tempting:




white wine with chocolates



fruit flavored water:



the gang's all here:


the gang and the ladies:

Bird Talk

Two birds were sitting by a corner , oblivious to their surroundings. Mr. Quail and Mr. Duck, were sitting accross each other when they started to talk.

Mr. Quail: You looked plastered ! Wazzup,bro!

Mr. Duck: Man!!!This economy really sucks. I was having such a good time at
my Hamptons abode then, but now everything's gone caputz!!!

Mr. Quail: same here, man..what happened!

Mr. Duck: Well, me and my friends were minding our own business when
we see our friend, Duck White in his A-flock commercial that
earned him big bucks. We wanted a good life too so we
thought the best thing was to join the market. So my buddies placed
a lot of their eggs in one basket and asked me to check Wall Street
to check the market. There were many banks to
choose from but I thought the name Lee Man was better sounding than a
girly name, Mary Lints. Besides, my friend Peking, a household name in
China was a rich mogul and having a Chinese sounding name could bring us
luck.A month after, the bank collapsed..I should have known than to invest
in one of our kind….Imagine,I then realized I was banking with Duck Fold…

When the bank went belly up, I thought to myself, “I’m deader than a
dead duck!” How could I face my buddies now. I went to the Hudson and
swam my way around thinking….You know, that kind of swim where they think
you’re floating very well but under the water you’re paddling like hell…
That was what I did for a couple of days.

Then the news hit me that Lee Man was going to be bought out by a
relative. There was hope, I thought. What a jerk that relative, I think
he was called Bark Lee. Some dog! He only took the meat and didn’t care
for the rest. However, I was told we’d get our basket back without the
eggs of course. The insult is that the basket would be given when
everyone flew to a warmer climate.

Mr. Q: Did you eventually tell yor friends what happened after that?!

Ducky: Yes I did. At first, there was a lot of quacking, I thought I’d go deaf.
Then as expected, they chopped my head off and fed it to the dogs.
Plucked my feathers and made it into a feather duster, and skewered my meat
for barbecue. As for my bones, the pounded it to make into fish meal.

Mr. Q: what happened after that!

Ducky : What more could they do? At least I still had my dignity. I didn’t lived
in the Hamptons for no reason. I had a good life…But it’s not the same
anymore…..How about yours, what’s your story?!

Mr.Q: Am just an ordinary quail leading an ordinary quail’s life. Peck to peck
existence. Then I wrote a fiction about a Woman Featherweight Champion
which I entitled, “Loves and Life of Manilyn Quackyao”. I worked so hard on
the book which I considered my nest egg, and it became the No#1 bestseller.

Duck: What did you do with the eggs you earned.

Mr. Q: I heard this St Bernard canine, Maddog. You know he’s rich but the quiet type. A friend of mine convinced me to invest with him. Even during the economic slump, he was giving high yields of interest. AT first, the checks came every month, then it got delayed, and finally the checks started to bounce. I was stunned. When I saw on t.v. and learned about his Ponzi scheme, I ran like a headless quail. Clueless at just what happened.

Mr. Duck: What did you do..

Mr. Q: Then as fast as I was running, I stopped. I realized I just got burned. That’s when I stopped running. Now am just here sitting down, thinking that my life is over. But hey, I have no regrets. I’m just about ready to be gobbled up. I don’t care anymore.

Mr. Duck: Ho hummmm…Me too. I’ll probably end up on a toast or cracker. Or if am lucky I might be on board a rare dry aired piece of fillet mignon. I might even end up meeting my buddies, Truf Fle and Cav Iar. Then all of us can go in the slammer.

Q: That's the spriti!.…at least am sure that we’ll both be going out of a shit hole.

D: That’s for sure! And hey! Who knows , we’ll probably end up in the same loo.

Q: Two in a Loo Loo! Boo hoo hoo! ….But hey, let’s not gripe…who knows! Maybe next time we’ll reincarnate as humans. Now that’s something to look forward to.

Three Appetizers on St.Patrick's Day

Yesterday, Mike and I went to Louie Armstrong’s house which was converted into a museum in his memory. The tour of his house was informative, but I really did not sense much of him. Probably because the house was more for his wife, Lucille, than for Louie due to his absences because of his tours.

Being the person that Louie Armstrong was, outgoing and all, I could feel him in his garden, amongst his friends, enjoying the parties and jamming. Another place where his presence was alive was the den, where he kept most to himself. And of course, the gorgeous wall to wall to ceiling mirror covered bathroom. He had humble beginnings but was very successful as a musician. It is unfortunate that he left no heirs, thus donating everything to the city.

After that visit, we headed to Manhattan to check on the St. Patrick’s parade, only to realize that we had missed it. Nevertheless, we strolled to the upper side of Times Square towards the theatre where David Letterman holds his night shows.

On the side street of the theatre, there was a crowd that gathered. Mike thought there was a film shooting going on, since cameras were clicking everywhere. As we approached, we immediately heard shrieks of “Julia!!!” And to my amazement, there she was in her black dress.beautiful like in the movies, my idol in ‘my best friend’s wedding”--Julia Roberts! In the flesh!

Anyway,....of course nothing completes my day without having to cook up in my to-do list of cooking which included appetizers. Earlier in the day, I made salmon ceviche with wasabi vinagrette and this is it:



-salmon cut up in bite sizes
-wasabi powder
-grated ginger
-minced scallions
-few tablespoons of vinegar
-salt and pepper to taste

we ate this for breakfast and boy it was so yummy. Then I rememered that the Japanese ate their sashimi's in the morning when the morning catch was still so fresh. And that's just what we did.

Later on I baked some bone marrow after seasoning them. When the fleshy part was smooth and spreadable, I plated them with condiments and toast. There was also a little radish salad to wash away the oiliness but the buttery taste was yummmmmmm.


I also made scallops on cheese cups...