Battle of the Brainless

What happens when 2 doctors, an accountant and a lawyer meet in face book? They have the ultimate battle of the brainless.

What turned out to ba a simple question ended in a pingpong of diverse explanations which basically had all of us laughing our butts out. (nag utot utot sa katawa). Good thing in face book you can’t smell anything.

So,what is battle of the brainless? It’s when you have the right answer but addressing the wrong question. Or vice versa. It’s when someone joins in the conversation without knowing what the hell they’re talking about. Or it’s when one concept, idea, or thought is expressed in different meanings and languages. In other words, a rambling of everything that turns itself into a comedy.

Typical situations often come to mind such as this:

Airport Security: Miss, pakibuksan nga yung bag mo, baka meron kang tinatagong baril dyan.
Miss Giatay: Na buan ka dong. Di man gani ma sulod ang baldi diri sa akong bag, baril pa.

Many times the tagalog will riducule us bisaya for the way we pronounce our words. Just because we have a harder tongue doesn’t mean they’re so much better. Here’s an example:

Bisaya: Bai, naa ka ba bool gum?
Tagawg: Hindi yan ba bool gum, BA BEL gam yan.
Bisaya: Sigue gud. Dali , sakay na at ug tri- see kool
Tagawg: Anong tri- see kool… TRI SI KEL yan.
Bisaya: (ga ngit ngit na sa kalagot!) kani kahibaw ka?
Tagawg: Ano yon.
Bisaya: Bato bato sa langit, ang matamaan _______
Tagawg: dali dali naman…siempre, ‘huwag magalit!’
Bisaya: hindi oy….ang matamaan, BOO KEL (bukol ba)

Not only do we come at cross roads with other dialects, but we murder the English language as well. And often those DUH moments occur while impressing others . Have you ever come across beauty pageants in the province?

Announcer: Miss, what is your best feature?
Candidate 1: My bayst feture is wed my mama during my graduation in hay skul.

Announcer: Miss, what do you think is your edge among the others?
Candidate 2: (sabay smile ug beautiful eyes) Uhmmm, my edge is…18 years old.

Anouncer: Miss, what is the most memorable gift your parents gave you.
Candidate 3: (nag sway sway samtang nag think) …uhmmm..my memorable gift is taptpoy?
Announcer: Tap toy?! What is tap toy?!
Candidate 3: Kana gung Teddy Bird!!……(Duhhhh! Stuff toy na teddy bear!)

Okay, enough already…Hope you had a good laugh just as we had this week. So allegorically, let me explain how it went. I will not reveal any names lest I incriminate anyone, but it went something like this.

The gynecologist was stating something about the “lips’ in between the legs. The psyciatrist was talking about the ‘lips’ on the face, the lawyer wanted a clear explanation understandable in her language, and well…the accountant was sorry she asked the question in the first place. But we had a good laugh, didn’t we, girls?

Now, who’s having a battle of the brainless?