Are you sure it's my birthday?

Birthdays are such a fun event when you're young. Not so much for gifts, but for the fun that it brings when celebrating with friends. When I was younger, my birthday gifts were so limited to mostly clothes, dolls and hair accessories. And my birthday parties consisted of cake, ice cream, spaghetti with sweet hotdog sauce and pork barbecue on a stick. Although they were fun and memorable, I just couldn't wait to be thirteen when I was officially declared a 'teenager'.

At 13, I wanted to be 15 right away so I could attend discos or 'mix' parties. I was popular then, and I got invited to many of the soirees, but not without a chaperone, which was either a yaya or a sibling. Turning 16 was cool, because I could then watch movies that had a 'for adults only' sign, which meant I was an adult. Moreover, I was able to get a student driver's license, even if I wasn't driving, much less have a car. At 18, I went on dates unchaperoned mainly because I was already dating Mike, and he was a familiar face in our household.

At 21, I got my license to drink in bars which really didn't matter because I was already drinking anyway. A few months later, I got married and had my first child, Wiggy...After that, I started counting all my children's birthdays as well, and got.....

The nice thing about marriage is, its a partnership where one remembers a birthday while the other one forgets. In my case, I already stopped having birthdays at 32...and Mike keeps remembering it for the past 18 years. If I'd have a debut, this is it. Am at the age, where there is so much selective memory. I often catch myself in these scenarios....

"Where the heck are my glasses?"
"It's on your head, mom!"
"Where's that sanamagan ballpen I was just using?"
"It's behind your ears, mom!"
"Okay, now where are those keys?????"
"It's on your hands, mom, you're holding it!!"

And with all these answers, I get embarrassed and the only thing that comes out is an "OH"!!

If that's not bad enough, how about meeting a friend at a mall, and you both shriek with glee. She remembers your name, but you can't hers. What do you do? Try to recall--pudgy nose, pimples like potholes, and a body to die for--then your brain goes--downloading....downloading..downloading....and..ERROR!..then you try to upload an image of betrayal, ..a sexy body, boys...aha!..Nadia!!!your classmate that stole your best friend's boyfriend...but that was years ago, and both of you start to reminisce ....

Ohhh! if only our brains had those microchips, that can store data and then retrieve it when needed. As a matter of fact, I am believing that I have such an implant. Every night when my hubby tries to touch my keys for his rations, I turn to him and say, "access denied, access denied". But then, he eventually gets the password correctly: a diamond ring, a new camera, dinner at an expensive resto...then it's "password approved". Or how about those request your children make.

"mom, can i have a car?"...and you say, "deleted"
"mom, can i go to so and so's place? "...and you say, "with attachments!"
"mom, can i have money?..and you say, "virus, warning, virus in your wallet"
"mom, are you okay?"...and you say, 'system failure'.....and the diagnosis--"menopause, menopause,...reboot!

To be asked what a person would be 20 years from now, is easier to answer for a person in his teens than that of a golden ager. The former would have outlined his goals and dreams, because of his youth. But the latter, whose physique has taken its toll, would reminisce on the things he should have done. Such were my thoughts a couple of days ago.

As I ponder and think about my life, I am thankful to God for allowing me the joy of living, the ability to stand up inspite of the many wrong decisions I made, and for giving me what I really needed: supportive family, loving friends and my health. That's just what really matters.
In time, the health will wean and the physique will give its way. Friends will soon be gone - as the saying goes, "my parents told me to respect the elders, but I've reach that age when there are very few of them."...and my family --well they will move on and have their own families.....

Coming to America was an eye opener for me in terms of the elderly. Here, families are too busy to care for their own, and that they are left to many Filipino caregivers. It is so sad, and I thank God that in our society, we do take care of our own elders , regardless...it is our culture, and Thank God I'm Filipino!!! But then again, my children are opting to move to different shores, and so am wondering again...and pray...will they still be living the Filipino culture?...That made me think..I should start being doubly nice to them because they will chose my nursing home...

But then again, I thought to myself, what if I lose my mind to the Big "A". That's the 'in' thing with the elderly isn't it? Tears just started rolling because then the 'what ifs' of not remembering friends, or recognizing my own children or even forgetting how to chew came creeping in. I started to feel depressed, but just as I was sliding into it, i snapped out of it realizing that negativity just won't help.

Life is what you make of it. And I have resolved in my coming years, that I will take each step as they come with a teaspoon of sugar, and not a grain of salt (kay it's ASIN), and not to sweat the small stuff. I will look at every adversity with a smile, and remind myself that it is temporary. I will keep a positive attitude and stay away from people with long faces (read the "Law of Attraction"--and long faces aren't attractive)...and even if I do become mentally lost , I pray that I will never loose that sense of humor......and so at this point ARe you sure, it's my birthday? or was it 9 months before, when my parents had sex? hmmmmm....