We greet friends, share links and occassionaly be naughty, comical, informative or newsy (nosey ?) as we see fit. Sometimes we try to be subtle with quotes and messages hoping that friends can read between the lines.
Every event in one's life as posted in facebook, is part and parcel of one's growth . Like a ballgame, a step, an episode, a battle, Life is a series of success and failures. It is not the answered prayer, but in the waiting or expecting of an answer. It is not in the winning a sport, but how it is played. Every event becomes meaningful especially if shared in a venue called FACEBOOK.
As I read messages/news posted on my wall, I smile at the happy ones, and feel for the not so pleasant ones, Then I recalled an exercise I had when taking a nursing class in Ohio. And it went something like this.
The exercise was to write on 5 separate sheets , the 5 most important things in your life (exclude God in the equation) starting with 5 as the least important building up to number 1 as the ultimate most important one .. So I listed down my answers in 5 separate sheets and placed them right in front of me.
Then she told us to take the number 5 sheet, and I looked at the word 'CAREER', “Crample the paper,” she said “then throw it away. Now close your eyes. If you lost that , HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?!”
Career to me was important because it lifted my self-esteem; it was a source of income and it was a venue for creating friends. But loosing it was no big deal. I still had several fall back positions.
Then our teacher said, take number 4, I looked at the word 'MONEY' , “Crample it,” she said, “ then throw it away. Now close your eyes. If you lost that, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?!”
Even if you didn't have a job but had savings, then it was all right. Though, money is relative, when you have lots of it, you have lots of relatives, well sort of. Money can be liberating and make you feel self sufficient from this materialistic world, so I thought. But even if I lost all of it, I still had 3 more buffer to go.
Then she again said, take your number 3 paper, I looked at the word “HEALTH'. By then she told us to look carefully at what we wrote, “ crample the paper,” she said “ think again for a few minutes. If you lost this, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?!”
Health is wealth, so even if I didn't have money, for as long as I am able bodied to do what needs to be done and not be a burden to anyone, then I am okay. For as long as I am still useful then everything is fine. Or so I thought.
Then our teacher looked intently at each and everyone of us, as if allowing us to prepare ourselves for something. Then she told us take the fourth piece of paper which supposedly contained the second most important thing in our lives. I looked at the word FAMILY and FRIENDS. Then she said, “crush that piece and throw it away. What if the most treasured family, or the most treasured friend is taken away from you , HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?”
There is nothing more fulfilling than being accepted by your own family even without money to share nor achievements to boast. And often, friends can even be considered family because of the emotional affinity. With no job, money or afflicted of failing health, family will always be there by your side . But what if your very own family starts to shun you and even despises your presence? The thought of such a scenario brought tears to my eyes. My chest tightened and I started to heave sighs of sadness at the thought of a life without family, without the love of children, without the cares of relatives or even the concerns of friends. I tried wiping the snot that was flowing through my nostrils, and even with my eyes closed, the tears incessantly flowed. At this point, the stillness of the room was overcome with heavy sighs, nose blowings and faint signs of sobbing.
Finally the teacher said, “take that last piece of paper which you considered the MOST IMPORTANT ITEM in you life. Look at it well,” Then through misty eyes, I looked at my scribbly writing of the word, 'SENSES'. My teacher then said, “This is the hardest to let go and accept, but think very well for a few minutes, slowly crush that piece of paper. If that is taken away from you, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?”
Without a job, money or health and no family member or friend who even cared, I am all alone. And worst of all, without the proper functions of my five senses , I would not be able to see the beauty of creation, taste the richness of food, hear the calmness of the ocean, feel the warmth of the weather nor even smell the freshness of the surroundings. Life would have no meaning then. It will even be harder to accept the thought of losing ones mind to Alzheimers or Dementia. I was sobbing like a baby as the thought of myself feeling hopeless, helpless and useless dawned on me. Am I categorically allowed to say, “Can I please die NOW?”
The fate of aging is inevitable. It cannot be postponed or cancelled. It will come. How it will present to us, we'll never know until it knocks itself at our doorstep. It is up to us how we shall accept the unwanted. I don't know myself. I will probably treat it like a blind date, from now on, I will accept it as fate.....fatebook anyone?
at the MOMA, when you think you are...
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