Chunky and Healthy

Pictures are very deceiving, and when my figure appears in face book from someone else's page, I go ballistic when the shot is not my best angle. And I’m talking about the one my brother in law posted during my granddaughter’s birthday bash. hahahaha!

Yes, I had a reality check. I used to dream I had this gorgeous Jeniffer Aniston body, when in reality, I could be a contestant in the show, “the biggest loser”. You know, it’s that show wherein you come in really obese, then you work yourself out until the one who lost the most number of pounds wins!

Nevermind the friends who saw my plump figure and mocked me. Or even mere acquaintances and long ago friends who said, “si vanette na?, haaay! Katambok na niya noh?” (is that vanette, HOW FAT!) But If my own daughter starts to comment and says, “grabeha nimo ma oy…pag girdle gud”..(mom! you should wear a girdle) ..Then this time I really have to take my weight seriously…..AS IN SERIOUSLY. Why? Well, it reminds me of this joke:

Ngano man ang baktin inig lakaw,magduko? (why does the piglet look down when he walks?)
Ang- ang, ma ulaw man kay ang iyang mama, baboy!…(Obviously! He’s ashamed that his mom is a pig!) ..That my friend is the. reason why I will now take my weight seriously.

My husband will never say I’m fat. In actuality, he likes me the way I am but cautions me on my eating habits . He loves those ‘love handles’ a.k.a. bilbils.. Instead of putting his arms on my shoulder, he puts it on my waist, where he pinches and kneads them. Well, that’s because if he goes any higher or lower, I smack his hand right off (if you know what I mean)

Ever since I can remember, I was never fat. I was always skinny, and even when I was pregnant, it was only my belly that would swell…oh and sometimes my nose. But I remained small. However as I grew older, I gained more weight, even if I do exercise occasionally.

If not for healthy reasons, I think plump people are happier. In my case, I am a cook (kuno) so I think I get more credibility than if I were thin. Unless you are a de Laurentis named Giada, who would trust a thin cook anyway? Di ba?

And just for some information, my daughter in law,the nurse says , one is a high risk of being a cardiac patient when you have more than .8 (point 8) . By determining the points, simply measure your waistline and dividing it by the measurement of your hips.

Oh no!!!! . Got to get more of those dvd’s on hip hop abs, pilates, salsa, taebo’s and kickboxings…. ….ebay, here I come!

Mother's Day Hangover

It’s been a week, and mothers are back to the grind of being a maid, teacher, driver, psychologist, cook etc..you name it, we are it. But once upon a time, women were the rulers and masters of this universe.

In prehistoric times, archaeologists theorized that we belonged to a matriarchal society where women’s time and accomplishments were given more value. They believed that women were “ godlike” because of their abilities to bring new life to the world. Such 'secret' was the bonding element of their tribal sisterhood which brought power to them. Competition amongst women was unheard of, instead, they nurtured and supported each others strengths.

Anyway, the men started to be smart and realized that they had a role in this so called ‘new life’, thus the power shifted. Don’t you often wonder why men think of sex all the time? I think it’s got something to do with the unconscious heritage of that find. The revelation of such conquest made them superior. So they think!!!!

Moreover, women continued to lose power when the men began the custom of removing women from the tribe. It was the men that started initiating marriage and have ‘exclusivity’ rights. Am now picturing that prehistoric scene where a caveman has a club in one hand, while dragging the hair of a woman on the other.

What is applicable in prehistoric times, may not be so in today’s era. Before, men’s physique gave them the title of women’s protector mainly for survival reasons. In this day and age, there are no more bears to hunt nor lions to kill. What may have started as protection in those days has turned now into dominance. But the men still try to hold on to that superiority and dominance which through time is making many women today uncomfortable.

And society is no help in the sense that it feeds children with so much fairy tales and fallacies. Growing up, we were made to believe that woman's place is in the home and that we should hone our cooking and sewing skills if we wanted to attract a good husband. Hogwash!

Let me enumerate some of the revelations I have found after living in 'fairy tale land'.

1) Women don't need rescuing. We're pretty much sufficient.
2) There is no happily ever after. They just get married.
3) Step mothers aren't really that wicked...sometimes only, she's only woman, you know.
4) The prince left Snow White because he couldn't stand 7 meddling fathers in law ...Oh did you know that snow white was adopted by the dwarfs?
5) Cinderella lives in a beautiful castle, but she still talks to the animals. Rumor has it that her Prince has a mistress hidden in another kingdom, away from Cinderella's moles and rats.
6) Beauty is getting to look like her husband. She can't continue her botox treatment because they invested heavily in Lehman Bros and Merryl Lynch. The Beast is now in his 80's.
7) Ali Baba wondered were all his gold went. Someone confided it was part of the Yamashita treasure. He wonders who has it now.
8) The elves and the shoemaker are all working in Carcar, Cebu or Markina
9) Hansel and Gretel inherited a pastry shop.
10) Rapunzel has cancer. She had to go bald. She's looking at the bright side-- at least no one can pull her hair now


So going back to Mother's Day. Mother's DAy is really defined as " nine months after father's night".... but that's only part of it. In actuality, it takes a whole village to care for a child. Such was what the women did in those pre-historic eras. Not all were child bearers. Some were caregivers, cooks, nannies, midwives etc...Each had their own strength, and they all knew who to call and when to call them.

When the males knew the 'secret' and power was shifted, the women had no recourse but to succumb in fear of eradicating the human race. By stopping population, humanity would surely be open to extinction.

So now, don't you think we shouldn't have only mother's day...How about a caregiver's day, a nanny's day, a cook's day......on the whole, why don't we take everyday, a 'woman's day' since we do more than 365 things. Now, that's more like it!!!

Mother's Day Appetizers



shrimps in tequila and lime sauce



baked mussels in garlic

Cokcroach and Time

Last Sunday, I read a friend’s article about understanding generations and he wonders if today’s parenting is at par with those before us. As I sit and ponder at what he had written, an incident happened while I was baby sitting my apo. A small tiny cockroach peeped it’s way out of a hole sending my apo shrieking. This is the inspiration of my story.

As a child, my mother never thought much about cockroaches because for them, they were part of the household just as carrabaos were farm hands. It was a familiar site in their Spanish style houses, often found at the basement, where the harvests of rice, corn, vegetables and other fruits were kept. Unless the roaches didn’t bother anyone or step on any cooked food, it was okay, otherwise, they landed at the bottom soles of the helper’s wooden slippers.

It was only when I was growing up that the campaign for exterminating cockroaches were rampant as it was hazardous and filthy. I still remember the RAID commercial where a can of insecticide killer was featured with muscular arms pounding on nervous cockroaches scampering everywhere fearful of the can’s power. Eventually, wherever nook and crany the roaches went, the spray hand would always knock them dead. No Escape!

But of course, concerns about mists landing on food while spraying was suspect for food poisoning. The era of my children came when animal brutality was frowned upon. Surely, the cockroach was a necessity, at least in the food chain. Why then would God make them in the first place. Thoughts of subjecting pests to a brutal holocaust treatment was not an option, at least not when other living beings were concerned. Humans, because of their compassion and intelligence, created the killer CHALK! Yes, the killer chalk, with its insecticide component, was a tool to give the cockroach intelligence. Let them decide their fate.…By drawing a line, a roach could fulfill its destiny. It’s the human’s territorial compromise.. Okay, roach!! Cross those boarders, and you’re a dead pest!. Its your choice, it’s your move. Come inside my house when you’re not invited and you’re a goner…It’s as simple as that…And yes, there were some chalks that are effective.

Even if a house is immaculate clean, there will be roaches everywhere for as long as there are three things. Food, Water and Shelter. And all homes have those elements. They can live in a crack somewhere in your home and remain there for ages. Not until its rowdy nth generation offspring tend to wander out of their abode will the humans find out that there’s a city of roaches behind those manicured walls. Only then will chaos break loose.

There are many kinds of cockroaches such are there are many cultures and races in the world. The ones we find in the Philippines are much bigger and more ’garapal’ as they say. They appear as fast as they disappear. But in the colder climates, they tend to be much smaller and dumber because when they go into man's territory, they're like probinsyanos feeling their way around.

Such was what my 3 year old grand daughter saw . A tiny cockroach about less than an inch crawling on the underside of a kitchen wall. By instinct she screamed and pounded on the insect with her delicate foot, not wanting to kill but decapitate it so as to throw it away. Her mother ran to see the commotion, saw the wriggly insect and stepped on it for the fatal blow. At an instant , my apo screamed and cried.

“no mommy, no kill it” cried Andrea.
“But why?” her mother asked.
“What about his mommy, and daddy and his brothers,” said Andrea. “They might look for him, and when they find out you killed it, they might come and get you.”

I swear, that my grandkid has never seen the animated Pixar’s movie titled ’ WALL-E‘, where the lead robot’s best friend was a cockroach. The animal rights movement would have kissed my grandchild if they knew the conversation between mother and child. Start them young in learning animal rights.,they would say.

Cockroaches are really pests and there’s many sitting in the government. The song, “La Cucuracha” translated as 'the cockroach' originated from Mexico and was meant for politicians more than anything else. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it!

Oh and my friend who wrote about that issue last week- well he went to a doctor one day because he woke up with swolen lips. The diagnosis was a cockroach bite. And I thought only frogs did the kissing. !!! Could you imagina a 56 year old male, with receding salt and pepper hairline, having lips like Angelina Jolie's? I can... Now that’s an instant free botox plump lip treatment--and we thought roaches were useless….

Here’s the recipe I promised. Please say the name with a French accent

COQ AU ROUGE ET THYM
(pronounced in visayan: COCKROACH ITIM…just kidding!)

(chicken with wine in thyme)

Coq au rouge or most commonly known as coq au vin was a dish using rooster and wine. History tells, that after one of his battles, Napoleon B. stopped by an Inn for some food. The Innkeeper only had roosters, so he cooked that and added lots of wine to the dish thereby not only enhancing the flavor but softening the meat as well. Moreover, to thicken the sauce, they would use chicken blood This dish became one of the best dishes in France. It is best served with mashed potatoes or noodles, depending upon your choice. This is already a derivation of that dish.

Chicken cut up in pieces
Oil for frying
1/2 bottle red wine (thus the name rouge for red/ or vin for wine)
2 large onions (or 4 medium onions)
¼ pound (125 g.) of bacon/ or pancetta
2 stalks celery
2 large carrots
2 cloves chopped garlic
10 sprigs thyme tied together
1 cup chicken broth (found in tetrapak at grocery stores or just water with bouillon cubes can do)
Butter
Flour
Mushrooms
Onions
brandy 2 TB

Take out the skin and season the meat with salt and pepper. Using a dutch oven fry chicken by batches in hot oil. Set aside. In the same pan, place in bacon or pancetta and when cook, add the mirepoix (carrots, onions and celery) until soft. add brandy. Sprinkle flour and mix with the vegetables, then put back chicken.

Add the wine, garlic, herbs and chicken broth. Simmer for a few minutes . Cover and Place in oven for 2 hours.

A few minutes before its done, saute onion and mushroom in butter in a skillet.

Before serving, add mushrooms to the dish..In my case, I placed the mushrooms at the center of my mashed potatoes and placed the chicken on top. Check your seasonings, adding salt and pepper to taste....then Plate. Garnish with parsley. (you can also use noodles)

I Scream ICE CREAM!

Do you ever have those days when your mind is totally a complete blank? I'm not talking about the Big A creeping in but something like an overdrive of your brain. Exhausting ones self to oblivion either mentally or physically will eventually result to a breakdown or fatigue.....It will lead to those "duhhh!" moments. when one just stares and gapes at nothingness....However, let me remind you, that if you do have those moments, make sure you're not in the presence of people because with a blank stare and mouth open, it will lessen your face value...if you know what I mean.

This whole week, I was just totally spent. In between sneezes and hot flashes, I was floating like a zombie. Reminds me of Michael Jackson's, "Thriller" song. One minute, I was dancing and gyrating to the 70's music, reminiscing my teenage years, and the next minute, am sitting down not even conscious that I'm staring at something.

Frozen in space is my theme for this week. Which means that I will be playing with ice cream, sorbets/sherbets, gelatos and granitas. So what is the difference...A lot and not so much...Ice Cream is simply what it suggests--frozen cream. Gelato is just the Italian name. Technically, sorbets are never made with milk or cream, and sherbets often have milk or buttermilk added. But then again, many professionals use the term interchangeably. Granitas are the simplest form of ice dessert. It's simply shaved ice.

Photographing ice cream is not easy since they easily melt. Many photo stylist often fake their shots by using mashed potatoes or shortenings. And there are many other tricks of the trade for this. But as of now, in my case, this is the real thing. For my three photos, my theme was MAHJONG......

Anybody for a chow. Am using melon balls on vanilla ice cream with green kaong for chips

Okay, so how about a PONG! Mga bintos pa gyud ang pong. Kuwang nalang ug usa para ma Cang! Vanilla ice cream with green kaong.

Kani ang pinaka WAITING! Seven balls para Mahjong! All up single, siete pares, paningit and jai alai.....Oh usab pa ta!


Then I made kiwi granitas which I placed in the ice maker and turned it into sorbet. It tasted so good.
I placed the cherry because I had a funny thought in mind which I will keep to myself the explanation.......

Another glass serving with dollops of whipped cream. How cute those small dots look.

The recipe is so simple: 1 kilo kiwi fruit peeled and chopped (take off the center stems)then place in blender or food processor. Mix with3/4 c. sugar which was dissolved in 1 1/3 water. Chill.

To make granitas, when it starts to set, scrape it down. And to continue into sorbet, place in your ice cream maker and follow manufacturer's instructions.




Then my experiment of the frozen ice cream. My Thai friend said to shape a round ice cream and freeze it. Once frozen, totally wrap it in bread, making sure there are no holes that would expose the ice cream when you fry it. Leave in the freezer for hours until frozen hard. Then heat oil and fry for a couple of minutes until the outer layer turns crispy. (it doesn't look appealing when served as a whole. It looks like a meatball) So when serving, cut it up and pour in chocolate sauce, and powder with granulated sugar.

Oh, by the way, I froze several ice cream balls and one of them I coated with pecan nuts. And when I served it, I had to cut a portion to display the inside. I placed it on top of my granddaughter's over run chocolate cake...cool!