My experiences

I have been very busy the past weekends right before Christmas and until now. It is only during the weekends that I am free to do what I want but have not done so since I have a husband to attend to, children to shop for, grandchildren to baby sit and a host of other house chores to do. And by the time I plan to do something for myself, the weekend has been consumed and I'm back on the daily grind.

Today is the second Sunday of February. After morning service , Mike and I had a quiet lunch. AFter, I got ready to go to the library where I plan to spend a whole afternoon just thinking . If only he'd have the router fixed so I can just stay home and do internet in bed.

So here I am, pounding the keys of my laptop, oblivious of my surroundings.
This morning I decided to write about my school experience.

St. Theresa's was the only school I attended. Be it in San Marcelino in Manila, Quezon City and finally in Cebu.

When I was in Grade 6 being a board monitor or to carry the books of a teacher was a priviledge. It meant that you were in the teacher's favor. I was a favored one of Mrs. Pacaldo who at that time recognized my ballet skill. She asked me to create 5-6 ballet steps for her Grade 1 pupils, which she would use for a program. The times I would be called out of class for a few minutes to join Ms. Pacaldo's Grade 1 class was like being in cloud 9.

Then there was Ms. Rodriguez, my language teacher, who thought that I should represent her class in a declamation contest. It was indeed an honor since the piece that I declaimed was the same piece that my mother did during her elementary days. I did not give it justice, since my mom placed first and I only placed third.

The best times of my high school life was during my senior year.

My first summer job, right before my senior year, was being a secretary to a fraternity (and if my memory serves me right, it was called 'the Gazebians'). They embarked on a concert that brought in a then aspiring group called "the Apo Hiking Society". My association with one of the singers was memorable however, short lived considering that long distance relationships has never been me. After that stint, although the Apo continues to be famous and does numerous appearances, that one and only show I saw was just as eventful. And just as well, the summer job was just for that summer.

Academically speaking, I was good in Math but never in the Sciences. In Algebra,Geometry and Trigonometry I was in the top 5 of the class. However I flunked Biology, and in Science and Physics I was always in the bottom 5. Jesse, a tall and lanky cute looking (at that time) male was our physics teacher. Jesse was not only a teacher but a friend, after all, he was just 5 years my senior and was Mike's classmate. (again!) I became a priviledged student when it came to him. My classmates knew it because they saw and felt it. If they wanted to tell him something, sometimes they would come to me. I became their link, their mediator...Anyway, I will never forget that time when he called me in my house. He was disappointed about our grades and our performances, because it was not up to par. But then he did a little explanation and came up with a solution. Instead of expecting too much from all of us, he decided to lower his standard. In his standard, I was suppose to flunk, (and so would many others), however, since he was lowering his standard would 77% be allright by me? If he was not on the phone, I could've kissed him. It's better than a failing grade noh? Nevertheless, I was just glad we were friends and not just a teacher-student relationship. During my senior year, I was 'kilig to the bones' when I was being treated special. And did I tell you, we went on a double date during my senior year. Is that something or what! Just like the apo moment, the physics moment also came to an end. That same year!

In college, I became a 'star' during my freshmen year. St. Theresa's Cebu presented an annual play entitled 'Terana'. I was chosen to do the lead role. The male roles were given to the seminarians of San Carlos under the direction of Fr. Rudy Villanueva, our musical director. We practiced for 2 months and went home no later than 9 every night. It was my first time singing solo so my grandmother enrolled me under a renowned vocalist in Cebu. Two weeks before curtain call, I got sick. My fever was so high that I was completely dazed. My mother ordered me to have I.V. fluids and was kept home for 2 days to recuperate. Luckily I did bounce back and was able to do all the shows.

Having had that experience has caused me to differ any ambition with the industry. I am content with the behind the scene experiences as contrast to the front line battlefield.

During my third year college, (and in this order) I became pregnant, got married, and gave birth to my first born. We were living with my in-laws so there were many adjustments to be made. It was also during this time that I got a job as a nursery school teacher. A relative had a school and needed part time help. And my husband, still finishing his senior year in college and doing part time as draftsman, didn't want additional burden on his parents so we took in jobs. So juggling my hours from being a teacher, student, mother and an in-law was difficult.

Two years after becoming a mom, I graduated my bachellors degree in accounting. AFter this we moved out of my in-laws and rented an apartment right accross my in-laws house.
Being a homebody or just being a 'housewife' was not part of my job description for my life. Managing might be, but not the manual aspect of it.

My mother was often out of the house. She was doing office work at the printing press of my dad. Or was selling insurance in my grandfather's company. She was seldom home. And when my parents separated, and I lived with my mom, my grandmother was the influential person in my life. I would have all my meals with my maternal grandparents and Lola Panyang will never cease to put in my head to get a college degree no matter what. It is the ticket to my future.

Moreover, my grandma was a socialite. I would help her whenever she had parties. I know her ritual very well. A week before the party she would have the servants put out the china and the silver ware to be cleaned. She would then set the plates in their places and cover it with a blanket for the dust. Two days before, she would have the whole place decorated. Cutting orchids from the garden, bringing in the plants and placing strategically all over. The day before the party, the serving plates will be lined up in the buffet table, complete with serving spoons and forks. All this would be done by the servants but at your command. I can distinctly remember her telling me, "Vanette, use your mouth and not your hands. Sit down and tell them what to do!" This was my first lesson in manegerial skills. Lola was a good manager.

Okay...got to go..the library is about to close..will write more about what life is for me after college. Whoever reads this hope you had fun.

Just Thinking

When one follows the teachings of Christ, does that automatically qualify him as a Christian? Or when someone follows the Zen teaching and meditates, does one become a Buddhist? Many times, religion dictates some rituals that have to be initiated before being considered a follower.
That’s the issue about organized and institutionalized spirituality. Adhering to practices and rituals are not the basis of embracing true spirituality. If so, then it is called religion.

To be a catholic, it is mandatory as a child to be baptized by water. In other denominations of Christianity, it is total immersion (like in a pool or water bath) and only after some self realizations . Either way, it is still a ritual. Moreover, there is a contention that once an unbeliever commits to the ‘sinner’s prayer’, he has started his journey to becoming a Christian. But how then, will you know.

So how do you know you are a Christian?

I do not go around announcing that I am Christian, not because I am afraid to proclaim Christ but because if things go wrong and people see the sinfulness in me, (which is often how many people judge) they will associate that behavior with my belief. However, on the other hand, if people see the goodness and admire the works as a result, I am quick to imply that I have had the teaching of the great master, Jesus Christ.

I am reminded of a story when we had our STC silver jubilee a few years back. As part of the week long affair, a group of 30 Theresians, including myself, decided to spend a day at Bohol Beach Club. It was an hour and a half boat ride from Cebu so we decided to leave first trip in the morning. As we gathered in the terminal, the group became rambunctious and had turkey like laughters., when one gobbled , the rest followed. It was not like we were teenagers, we were in our 40’s! Nevertheless, when it was time to board, the leader of our group decided to shout for all to hear, “HEY you pretty INMACULADISTAS! Time to BOARD!’ We all looked at her and she whispered, “Shush! I know we were loud and rude, and I had to make sure we kept our Theresian dignity, so for those who don’t know us, now they think that Inmaculadistas are the rowdy ones.”

The scenario depicted is one where the sinful nature is exemplified and decreasing the impact of undignified behavior has placed the blame on someone else. Like Adam’s own sin when the Lord asked him whether he ate the forbidden fruit, and he claims, “Lord the woman you gave me, she made me do it.” (Gen 3:12)

So again, how do you know you are a Christian? The bible says, “you will know them by their fruits.” (Mathew 7:16) Explicitly said. So if a person is good, kind and bears as much fruit in terms of what the ‘Christian ethics’ seem to say, will you consider him a Christian even without a sinner’s prayer or immersion in water?

On the other hand, if one did all the rituals, prayed the sinners prayer and proclaimed Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior yet is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, does that negate him from heavenly promises.

Christianity when done as an organized religion more often than not, misses out the real meaning of its true teachings. Some churches stick to the dogmas, leaving very little room for practicum in the large scale scenario. When asked if organized religion can approach God, Michael Cunningham, a journalist had this to say: “…I do think that the very idea of dogma--the notion that I’m right and you’re wrong-- opens the door to the kind of extremism that clearly seems to be the most dangerous force in the world today.”

A few years ago, a pastor who was very close to us, erred in his ‘spiritual walk’. We did what the bible dictated which is called the ‘3 steps’. Confront personally, then bring a witness, then finally bring it up to the authorities in the church. (Mathew 18:15-17) However, the tables were turned against us by the pastor to the point that we were accused of spreading false rumors. The very person that we looked up to, whom we have only cared with the best of interest, has now become a perpetrator. The religious institution that we thought would bring answers to our spiritual growth has now been the ground for much doubt and skepticism. The very people who called themselves Christians in the church, were now taking sides.

It is sad to note that the very teaching of Christ about forgiveness and compassion is not the path that is taken but is often only a subject for conversations and counselling. The true meaning of Christianity has been argued with verses of scripture, and interpretations of scholars. Yet in all these gymnastics of apologetics and excergesis, the walk is more pronounced than the talk.

In Northern Ireland, there is a very strong rift between the Catholics and the Protestants to the point that killings from either denominations are ordinary. There is what they call a Peace Line made of a 5 meter concrete and metal structure which separates one from the other. Some consider it like the Berlin Wall in Germany. When the Dalai Lama visited Northern Ireland to give a speeck to both factions, he was saddened by such division and said, “ Isn’t it incredible that people of the same Christian faith should fight one with another?” Then he continued, “it seems foolish. I feel as if my head is spinning around from your problems. If somebody compared Buddhism and Christianity, then we have to think, yes, there are big differences. But between Catholics and Protestants? It’s nothing! You and I have more differences than you do among yourselves. But I wish for you never lose hope. I can do nothing. The final outcome lies in the hands of the people of Northern Ireland.”

Such is the case even among us Christians in the sense that we are so fixed on the letter of the law, the dogmas, the doctrines, the essentials and even the fundamentalism of the faith, that we forget the true meaning of the lessons.

Fast forward several years (present day now), the erring pastor has been exposed by no less than his paramour with whom he has two children. A friend says, that I have been vindicated and that God is in control. We were all saddened (and to be honest--relieved) about this revelation that the only recourse now was for the pastor to be disfellowshiped.

Disfellowship would mean disassociation from the person and having no fellowship until he repents. To whom, I say? To the church, to God? To the faithful he conned? To his family?

In Mathew 18:17 (again my christian friends remind me) “..if he neglects to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.” So the phrase here is actually to the church. The pastor who once became part of a church is now placed back again into the pool of unbelievers or people needing evangelization.

The bible never gave instructions for us not to associate with the sinners. In reality, Jesus loved being with the sinners more than the Pharisees, because the sinners were more authentic. The Pharisees were so engrossed with following the laws, trying to pin down Jesus with their laws and thus quick to make judgments.
In John Fischer’s book “12 steps for a recovering Pharisee including me”,he makes this statement.

“ It’s the Pharisees in us that wants control, and more than anything we want control over the rules of the game (This is common in all religions) When we follow this pattern, it works to our supposed advantage in the following way: We set a standard that some, but not all, are capable of achieving. This standard usually has the weight of an acceptable authority behind it.(in the Pharisees case it was the law of Moses, with today’s Christianity it can be one’s inerpretation of theBible) and yet it is conveniently reinterpreted and reduced to some picky list of do’s and don’ts that some people can’t do and others simply don’t care about, with good reason.”
Ido not condemn churches who disfellowship their members for good reason. They need to impose drastic steps to insure the untainting of the flock. For if when a rotting egg is placed in a basket, the whole bunch will turn rotten. Or the term identification by association can be disadvantageous to a congregation that have harbor notorious infidels.
On the other hand biblical teaching also states that if one sheep has strayed, the shepherd will go and leave the 99 looking for just that one sheep. Have we done our part in restoring that one sheep? Or do we wait as the father waited in the story of the prodigal son. Who knows how to judge the situation except the players or actors themselves?

I will contend with my belief that our God is merciful and no matter how sinful a person is, he can be restored one way or the other. It is not my contention to stay away from a sinner with a ten foot pole just so he will learn a lesson. A conscientious person will know the consequences of his actions. And a leper, even with the least of affliction, will know who his real friends are.

To restore an erring man of the robe is not as easy as it may sound. Like a teacher that hates to be taught or a driver that hates to be driven, certain approaches need be considered before taking on such task. And the first thing to do is just be a friend. That was what Jesus did when he was among sinners. He became their friend and not a judge that stayed away, or a Pharisee that questioned their every move. That to me is Christianity in the raw.

And to my beautiful cousin Fran, to your question what is it to be a Christian since all the other religions do the same thing, my answer is to follow Jesus Christ and His teachings. Now my challenge to you is, who is Jesus Christ and what are His teachings? That is for you to find out. Have fun, my cuzin!